In My Arms
by Hayley-Cullen93
Summary: Bella and Edward have been friends since they were children. They really like each other, and to be honest, its obvious to everyone! Well, except to them. They are destined to be together but why does everything go wrong? All-Human
1. In My Arms : Preface

In My Arms - Preface.

_Snow patrol - In My Arms._

_I'm telling you the reason I'm all messed up._

_Just have to look me in the eyes and I fall apart_

_Just let me hold you till I know we are both through this._

_I just couldn't live another day, _

_Without you here in my arms. _

Standing in front of the mirror, I studied my reflection. I had to admit, I looked slightly pretty. My hair was curled and pinned in a bun on top of my head, only allowing a few locks to fall and caress my face, my dress was beautiful and made my curves more obvious. But it wasn't until I looked at myself properly did I realise that I was actually a mess.

My lips were turned down in a grimace, my eyes were blood shot, tears still running down my cheeks. If it wasn't for that fact that Emily had put waterproof mascara on me, it would be streaming down my face. I slid down the wall, collapsing to the floor, my head on my knees as the sobs rattled me.

Why was I here? What was I doing? Yesterday the reasons seemed valid, understandable. Now, they seemed pathetic. The sobs became harder as I thought of the only face I wanted to see now.

But I knew that was impossible, it was never going to happen, not after everything. I sat up, wrapping my arms around my torso, my head falling back, hitting the wall behind me. My chest felt like someone was ripping their way through it. I had never felt pain like this before. But why? Even when the one I thought I loved left me, it was bearable. This wasn't. So could it be true? Did I really love him more instead? Of course I did. I knew I loved him more for a very long time.

I lifted my head, checking the clock that hung on the wall in front of me. I had less than a minute. I stood, my attention turning towards the window. I ran over to it, pulling at it, trying to make the stiff window open. But then I stopped dead. What am I doing?! I groaned. I couldn't leave him like this, besides it was too late now. I had screwed up everything. He didn't want me. I breathed in deeply, trying to stop the tears from flowing again.

I walked back to the mirror, I looked worse than before. My hands fluttered uselessly, trying to make myself look decent at least. I gave up with another groan, instead I let my mind drift.

Okay, so I couldn't have the first prize, and I didn't deserve it either. But I could have the really good second prize. I wouldn't be settling for him, if anything it was the other way round. He could do so much better than me. He could have someone who could give him the love he deserved, someone who wouldn't look at him everyday and wish he was someone else.

But he had chosen me, so I could so this for him, couldn't I? A knock came at the door, interrupting my thoughts. It was time. And I was still completely undecided.


	2. Chapter 1 : Beautiful Soul

Chapter 1 ~ Beautiful soul

_Jesse McCartney – Beautiful Soul_

_I don't want another pretty face _

_I don't want just anyone to hold_

_I don't want my love to go to waste_

_I want you and your beautiful soul_

_You're the one I want to chase_

_You're the one I want to hold_

_I won't let another minute go to waste_

_I want you and you're beautiful soul. _

"Look, Tanya, you are a nice girl and everything, but it just isn't there for me. Sorry, but it's over." Her eyes widened in disbelief. Her mouth fell open. I waited silently for her to speak, but she surprised me, her lips turned up into a smile and she burst in to laughter.

"Wait, wait" she said, trying to catch her breath, "you are dumping _me_? I'm everything you could possibly want!" She ran her hands down her frame, as if to emphasise her words.

"I am sorry, but like I said, recently I have noticed it just isn't there for me any more." Well, that wasn't true, it hadn't been there for me at all. Tanya was not the girl I wanted at all. She was just a few inches smaller then me, she didn't have a modest bone in her body, she piles pounds of make-up on every morning, and did she not have a brain at all?! I always wanted a girl who could always keep me guessing on what she is thinking, not someone who was predictable, I didn't want someone who constantly thought about looks. Mind you, looks wise, Tanya really wasn't my type either. I want someone who was petite, brunette and who doesn't wear make-up excessively.

She glared at me. "I always knew you were gay." She mumbled under her breath.

"Excuse me!?" I stuttered. Did she really just say what I think she said?!

"Well, when I organised that special evening for us, you just blanked me, and I was wearing my best pulling underwear." She pouted, then turned back to angry immediately. "How could you not want _this," _she said, pointing towards her body.

"Tanya, I did not want you because you aren't as sexy as you think you are! You have the worst personality _ever!_ I don't like you Tanya, and I never had!" Tanya's face fell completely, and her eyes welled. "Tanya, I'm sorry." I whispered, immediately regretting the words as the left my mouth.

She looked down, hiding her face from me. "Its okay, I shouldn't have wound you up. I know you're not gay. I just said it because it hurts." She mumbled. "I'm sorry you didn't like me Edward. I just want you to know, I enjoyed this last month and a half, that we spent together." She looked up again, her mascara running down her face. I couldn't help but feel guilty. I looked away, and she stretched up to kiss my cheek, before fleeing through the door.

I groaned, falling back onto my bed. I threw my arms over my face. I finally had ended with Tanya. Good. Now I wouldn't have to put up with Tanya and her clingy ways. I keep trying to convince myself that, that was the reason I dumped her. But I knew I couldn't lie to myself, I had to admit that the real reason was I wanted someone else. Someone who was off limits. I groaned again.

I let my arms fall to my side and sat up. I looked around my room, for something to do now that my afternoon plans where ruined. The little silver phone on my drawers caught my eye. I stretched to it, locking my hand around it without having to leave the bed. I flipped it open, pressed one, then pressed call.

It rang three times before a voice greeted me. "Edward?" My heart thudded at the sound of her beautiful voice.

"Hey Bella, you feel like going to our park?"

"Sure, give me five minutes, meet you there, okay?"

"Okay, see you later.

"Bye." _Click_. And she was gone. I sighed, putting my phone into back pocket. I ran a hand through my hair, grabbed my keys and walked through the door.

* * * * * *

I pulled my jacket collar together, trying to keep some more warmth in. I put my hands back into my pocket and headed over the the play area.

I entered through the gate and looked around at our playground, I hadn't been here for four months, when Bella was-. I stopped that thought abruptly not wanting to think of Bella in that kind of pain again. I walked over to the roundabout, running my hand along the seat. Iremember Bella and I on this roundabout. We hadn't been on it since I was nine. I tried to fit in it but managed to get myself stuck, Bella still hasn't let me live it down. I turned around as the swings caught my eye.

I made my way over to them, sitting down on one of the two available seats. Without holding on to the chains, I moved back and forth slightly, keeping my feet on the ground. I thought about before life became complicated for Bella and I. When we were 15. She swung on the swing, going higher and higher, letting her head fall back, her hair brushing the floor, back and forth. I remembered the bright smile she wore, the way the sun shone on her face. That was the exact moment I realised I was in love with Bella. I gripped hold of the icy chains and started to swing. I leant back slightly, letting my head fall back. I smiled widely.

A small giggle stopped me immediately. I flung myself forward, stopping the swing dead. "Hey Bella." I said, feeling a slight blush paint my cheeks. She smiled at me and took the empty swing next to me.

"So, how come you called me and told me to come to our park, in December?" She asked, her eyebrow raised.

"Oh, I just needed to get out. Sorry, didn't mean to drag you out into the cold."

"No, no its fine. Its not that cold at all really." She said, but a shiver escaped her. I realised then that she only wore a jumper. I stood, undoing the buttons on my jacket. I pulled it off and moved towards her. As I went to place it on her, she wriggled. "No, Edward! You are only wearing a shirt! Put your jacket back on." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Bella, I will take it as a personal insult if you don't wear my jacket." She sighed, but gave in, taking it from my hands. As our hands touched I felt the electricity flow through us. She must not have felt it, she didn't even pause. I internally sighed, but retreated back to my swing, goosebumps now appearing on my arms.

"Didn't you have plans with Tanya this afternoon?"

"Yes, I did." I looked out, not really seeing anything, but just hoping she would drop the subject. I should have known better.

"What happened?"

"We aren't together any more." I sighed, looking down at my hands.

"Oh, Edward! I am so sorry!"

"Why? I ended it." I turned to look at her. Confusion swept across her face.

"But, I thought you liked her." She stumbled. I shook my head.

"No, not really, I never did to be honest."

"Then why did you not end it sooner?"

"I don't know," I looked into her eyes. "I guess, well, the person I liked was taken." I looked away again, internally hoping she took the hint.

"You like someone else? Who! Oh, you have to tell me!" I sighed, shaking me head. I expected her to argue, but there was no response. I turned to her, to see her pouting.

"Bella?" She glared, looking adorable whilst doing it.

"Tell me. Please Edward!" She whined.

"I can't Bella, sorry." She shrugged, accepting defeat. I wish I could tell her. I wish she could just know how I felt. But I didn't deserve her. I knew that.

Bella started to swing, and I copied. She giggled as she swung higher. I pushed my legs harder, trying to get higher as well. I laughed as she started to push harder. Just then the sun broke through the clouds, shining on her face. I could feel my heart break at the beauty of her, and I stopped pushing, falling off of the swing. She jumped off, surprisingly landing on her feet and ran towards me. She fell to her knees. "Edward?! Are you okay?"

I sat up, nodding. She put her hands on her hips and glared at me, she could always tell when I lied. "Tell me the truth Edward, what is really wrong?"

_I am in love you! I love everything about you, I need you! Please, tell me you feel the same. _These are the words my heart screamed. But I couldn't get mouth to shout them out. I had promised someone that I wouldn't ruin Bella's life like that. The memory flooded my mind.

_Charlie s House. Two Months Earlier. _


	3. Chapter 2 : Things I'll Never Say

Chapter 2 ~ Things I'll Never Say

_Avril Lavigne – Things I'll Never say_

_If I could say what I want to day_

_I'd say I want to blow you away_

_Be with you every night_

_Am I squeezing you too tight?_

_If I could say what I want to see_

_I want to see you go down on one knee_

_Marry me today_

_Guess I'm wishing my life away_

_With these things I'll never say_

_**EPOV**_

_Four Months Earlier _

"Come on, you can do this!" I growled at myself. Sitting in my Volvo outside my house, the keys in the ignition, I was fighting with myself to hit the accelerator. "You can do this. You are only going to Charlie's house, you do it all the time!" I willed myself to go, to push down on the accelerator, but I just couldn't do it. I huffed as I snatched the keys out of the ignition, I shoved the door open and stormed towards the porch.

I muttered under my breath as I stormed up the steps, but as I was about to burst through the door, it was opened for me. Alice glared at me. She walked out into the porch, only to push me off of it. I stumbled down the steps, yet I still managed to land on my feet. "What the hell Alice!?" I shouted, this was not helping my mood at all.

"Don't you _what the hell Alice_ me!" She mimicked, "Get your ass back in that car!" I sighed, ignoring her. She walked down the steps and towards me so she was stood just a few inches in front of me. "I said get in your car!" She ordered. I shook my head, walking past her.

She managed to catch my arm and she dragged me back, so I was stood in front of her again. "Why not Edward?" Her voice was calm now. "What is wrong?"

"I just can't do it Alice." I whispered, my eyes searching the floor.

"Man up! You are just going to talk to Charlie, who you have known since you were little. Don't be so pathetic!" She grabbed hold of my wrist, pulling my towards the car.

"Alice, stop." I firmly put my feet on the ground, and I snatched my arm back. She whirled to face me. "What do I say?"

She clucked her tongue. "I am not going to tell you what to say! You need to do this on your own. Now get going! Go!" She grabbed my arm again, this time putting my force into her pull. I gave in and let her shove me into the car. I knew I would have to do this. Why not do it now?

"Are you sure about this Alice?"

"Of course I am, this is going to work out, now go!" She slammed the door shut before she ran back up the path and onto the porch. I took in a deep breath as I started the car again. Alice said this was going to be okay. It is going to be okay. With that thought, I slammed down on the accelerator and raced out of the driveway and down the road.

* * * * * *

I took in a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. What is the worst he can say? He could say no, but I could still ask her anyway. Damn Carlisle and his morals. Just because he asked my mother's father if he could date my mother, Esme, that doesn't mean I had to. If I do though, would that score some bonus points with Charlie? I certainly hope so. I shut off the car and released my seat belt. I sucked in another deep breath before I stepped out of my car.

I jogged up the path, now anxious to do this. I tapped the door three times, then ran my hand through my hair. _Its not too late to back out_ a little voice in the back of my mind whispered. I shook my head. No, I was here now. I needed to do this.

The door opened. "I have already told you, I do not need rat trap- Oh, Edward, its you!" He opened the door wider, gesturing for me to enter. "Sorry, I thought you were another one of those pesky salesmen"

I chuckled, but it sounded wrong, it was a nervous chuckle. "Its okay Charlie." I did my best to smile at him, but I could feel the nerves running through me.

"So, what is it Edward? Bells is out I'm afraid."

"Oh, yeah. I know, I came here to talk to you actually. Could we go sit down please?"

He frowned. "Um, sure." He turned and walked towards the kitchen, I walked after him. He sat in his normal chair, gesturing for me to take the seat opposite. "What's up Eddie?" I internally flinched at his use of my childhood nickname. I didn't want him to think of me like that, I wanted him to think of me as an adult.

"Well, the thing is Charlie, Bella and I have been friends since we were little." His frown deepened, he was still confused. I decided to just go straight to the point. "I want to take it to the next level." I heard his teeth grind together.

"You want to date my daughter?" He said the words through locked teeth. His face was turning red.

"Yes."

"Explain yourself Cullen." His words had a biting edge. I winced.

"Well, I know Bella better then anyone, I think we would be really good together, I love her Charlie."

"No." I felt my stomach drop.

"What?" I whispered. I knew that was a possibility, that he would say no, but I never actually believed he would come right out and say it.

"Edward, you aren't right for her."

"What?!" I jumped out of seat. Charlie copied. "How would you know?!"

"Because I know my daughter. You aren't good enough for her Edward."

"I suppose you know who is then?!" I shouted. Each word he said felt like a dagger in my heart.

"Yes. Jacob." I felt all the blood drain from my face, all the fight taken out of me.

"What?" I breathed.

"He is perfect for her, he has a secure job, he has a house." Jacob Black. My worst nightmare. I know if Charlie had said anyone else, it wouldn't have hurt so much. "I am sorry Edward, but he is perfect for her. He could look after her properly. Compared to him, you are just a kid."

"You don't know what he is like Charlie." No one did. Only I had seen the real side of him.

"I have known Jacob since he was a little boy, of course I know what he is like. He can give her anything she ever wanted. What could you possibly offer her that Jacob couldn't?"

I just stared at him. I couldn't offer her anything that Jacob couldn't. I was only eighteen. Jacob was twenty-two. I _was_ just a child. "Now Edward, you have to go. Jacob is coming over. He is going to talk to Bella." Another stab in my heart. I sucked in a deep breath. I wouldn't let Charlie see how much this was hurting me.

"Okay. I am sorry for any inconvenience." It was meant to sound sarcastic, but it came out whispered.

"Its okay Edward. Now promise me, you won't tell Bella that you came over today, will you?"

"Why w-" He raised his hand to cut me off.

"Because we want what is best for Bella don't we, and that isn't you is it?"

"Okay." I breathed, before running out the door. I don't care what Charlie thinks. I still have to tell her. I need to tell her that I love her. Leaning against my car, I pulled out my phone, intent on calling Bella. But before I could press the call button, a hand grabbed my shoulder.

"Eddie, Eddie, Eddie." I froze. The voice that caused my nightmares, that kept me awake at night. I spun to face him. His face was smug, mocking. "That is not a good idea, is it?" He whispered. His fingers curled around my shoulder.

"Just go away Jacob." His fingers dug into my shoulder. I winced.

He laughed quietly. "I heard what Charlie said to you Eddie." He taunted. "And he is right. You are not what she deserves."

"And you are?! What stops me from telling Bella what you are like really?" His fingers dug even deeper, the blood seeped through my white shirt. I bit my lip to stop myself from whimpering.

"I think the answer is pretty obvious, don't you?" He whispered.

"I don't care what you do to me Jacob. I love Bella."

He released my shoulder. He smirked at me. "But she doesn't love you Eddie. She told me her self." His words winded me. My heart shattered.

"No. no you are a liar!"

"I am not a liar. She said to me that you are just a pathetic child. That she wants a man, not a boy." _What? No, surely this can't be happening..._I wanted to shout at him, to tell him I didn't believe him. But I couldn't find my voice. What if Bella didn't like me? Why would she like me? I'm not anything special.

I looked up to see his black eyes mocking me. I couldn't say anything. I jumped back into my car, slamming the door behind me. Jacob leant down to look at me through the window. "There's a good boy Eddie." I couldn't take this any more. I sped off into the direction of my house.

_* * * * * _

I parked to the side of the house, hoping no one would see my car, I needed some time to myself. As I unstrapped my seat belt, the wall broke down. For the first time in 10 years, the tears flowed freely.

Jacob Black. Why him? Maybe if it was anyone else it wouldn't hurt so bad. Okay, so it would have hurt this bad anyway, but for Bella to want to be with the man that has bullied me ever since I was five years old, that added to the pain.

Admittedly, I had never told anyone that Jacob bullied me. I was always a suffer in silence kind of guy. I gulped back the tears. It didn't hurt that much. Okay, that was lie. It felt like someone had ripped out my heart and set me on fire. I love Bella so much. But for me to find out she doesn't want me and to be told by _him_, what did I do to deserve that kind of torture?

I opened my car door and jumped out, slamming it shut behind me. Not bothering to lock it I ran up the porch steps. I tried to get into the house as quickly as I could without being noticed so I could just go straight to my room. I thought I had made it as I ran up the stairs, but as I reached the top, Alice jumped in front me, blocking my path.

"Well?! How did it g-. Oh my, Edward what happened to your shoulder?" She walked down a few more steps, grabbing hold of my shirt collar to lift it and examine my shoulder. I smacked her hands away. Her face fell immediately. "Edward?" I could hear the hurt in her voice. I know it wasn't fair to take it out in Alice, but I couldn't deal with anything right now.

"Nothing Alice, just leave me alone." My voice held no emotion. I'm sure my face matched. She didn't protest, she let me go. I ran the remainder of the stairs and went straight to my room, slamming the door shut behind me.

As soon as the door shut, I collapsed on the floor, the sobs now taking control of me.


	4. Chapter 3 : I Hate Myself For Losing You

Chapter 3 ~ I hate myself for losing you.

_Kelly Clarkson – I Hate Myself For Losing You_

_I hate myself for losing you_

_I'm seeing it all so clear_

_I hate myself for losing you_

_What do you do when you look in the mirror_

_And staring at you is why he's not here?_

_**BPOV**_

I was still on my knees, my hands locked around Edwards wrists, when his eyes finally came back into focus. I watched as his features twisted in pain. "Edward?" His pained face scared me, my voice was barely above a whisper. He gaze fell to my hands around his wrists, and he winced. I immediately released my grip, worried that I may have been squeezing too hard. But as I completely let go, the pained look didn't disappear and I knew then that my grip was not what was causing this pain.

"Edward?" I practically whimpered, raising my hand to place on his cheek, to give him some kind of comfort. But before I could actually place it onto his cheek, he flinched, falling back off of his knees and onto his bottom. I withdrew my hand, trying hard not to show how much his rejection hurt me.

"I have to go." He mumbled, not meeting my gaze. He silently jumped up, and without saying another word, he strode out of the park and towards his car. I looked over my shoulder just in time to see the Volvo reversing and speeding out of the car park. I slowly stood, making my way over to the swings. As I sat down on the swing Edward was sat on before, I couldn't help but wonder what had happened to my best friend.

He had completely changed. It was as if he wasn't in that body, as if he someone else was controlling him. He wasn't the same person that I grew up with, not the same person that I- that I fell in love with. There, I said it! But what chance did I have of saying it to Edward if I can barely admit it to myself? Only Alice knew of my feelings towards her brother. Not that I had admitted it to her, but Alice knew me better then I knew myself.

I remembered that Edward changed drastically four months ago. It was the day after Jacob had returned back from his business trip.

_Four Months Earlier _

I sighed, relieved to almost be home. I was just so tired, I had spent all of yesterday shopping with Alice. I swear, if shopping was an Olympic event, she would win gold, no problem. My feet were killing me when I got home. I intended on sleeping in, only to be woken up by Charlie, saying we were desperately low on groceries and most importantly his favourite fish sauce. I grumbled at him, telling him to get them himself, but he guilt tripped me into it.

I stifled a yawn as I pulled up to my house, grabbing the brown paper bag from the passenger seat. I stepped out of my door, only to realise then that Jacobs rabbit was parked next to Charlie's cruiser. Curious, I walked quicker to the porch. The door was ajar, so I stepped through. "Dad?"

"There you are Bells!" Jacobs voice greeted me from the living room. His voice stunned me, he wasn't supposed to return for another week.

"Jake?!" I called out, dropping the groceries on the floor as I ran into the living room. Jake stood up as I ran into his arms, he picked me up and spun me around, I giggled, feeling like a five year old. Jacob gently released me. "What are you doing here?"

"Sam let me go home early. We had finished all the work, so I wasn't needed." He smiled down at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Charlie slip out of the room. I wondered what was happening, it was out of character for Charlie to leave the room.

Jacob took my hand and pulled me towards the couch. He sat down, pulling me down to the empty seat next to him. I looked down at our hands pointedly, and he released his grip, but not before I noticed that the ends of his nails were crimson. I grabbed his hand.

"Jake, what happened?" I lifted his hand to examine it, under his nails was dried blood. He snatched his hand back. His eyes clouded over.

"Nothing, just caught my hand." He chuckled nervously, avoiding my gaze. But before I could push it further, he placed his hand on my knee. I was about to brush it off when his gaze met mine. "Bella," he started, his voice was deeper, serious. "I love you."

His words completely threw me, I couldn't even form a sentence. I just gawked at him. His eyes tightened slightly.

"That was the part where you supposed to say you love me." He said, chuckling.

"Sorry, Jake, but you surprised me." He turned to fully face me, taking my hands into his.

"Bella, I love you." My heart stopped when he released my right hand to retrieve something from his pocket. A black velvet box. Oh please, no... "Isabella Marie Swan." He flipped open, revealing a ring. "Will you marry me?" I could feel my head start to spin. Marriage? We hadn't even dated! "Bella?" I closed my eyes, trying to make sense of this.

"Marriage?" I whispered, afraid my voice would betray me if I spoke louder. I opened my eyes to see him nod. I felt like I had stepped into a dream. I couldn't tell what was real from what wasn't. Only a few seconds ago did he tell me he loved me, now he wants me to marry him?! "Jacob, I don't understand." He told me before, that he hoped we would have a wonderful live together, that he wanted to be with me, but I never thought more of it, I always thought Jacob would find someone better then me. Someone prettier, someone smarter.

He sighed, releasing my hands, and turned to lean his back on the couch. "I did a lot of thinking while I was away Bells. About my life. You are the most important thing to me. I am twenty-two now. I think it is time that I settled down." He stared at the ceiling.

"But I am only eighteen Jake. I don't want to marry just yet." I didn't understand why he wanted to marry at his age, either. He had told me most men in La Push had married before they were twenty-one, but I never imagined Jacob to do that, to be tied down so young.

"I know Bella, I know." He sighed. His eyes flickered to me, they were bright with a new idea. "Bells, can you promise me one thing?" He shifted to face me again. "Will you promise to marry me one day?"

I shifted in my seat. Could I promise him that? Jacob was the one I know everyone always imagined me to be with. Our dad's had always said that we would be together forever. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Charlie stood at the door frame. He was trying to hide, not wanting me to see him. My eyes flickered to him for the briefest of seconds, but as I caught the look in his eyes, I knew my mind was made up.

"Yes, Jake."

_Present Time_

I sighed as I walked out of the park gate, strolling towards my truck. I burrowed deeper into Edward's coat as the wind whirled around me. I contemplated driving to his house to drop off his coat, but thought better of it, I may only make things worse for him if I go round, when he clearly didn't want to be around me.

As soon as I was in my truck I turned the engine on whilst turning the heat onto full. I buckled my seat belt and was about to reverse out of the parking space when my cell phone started to ring. With a huff, I pulled it out of my pant pocket. I checked the caller I.D before I flipped it open. "Hey, Al."

"Bella, can you come round? I need to talk to you."

**Author Note : Has anyone got any guesses to the name of the song that has inspired this story? This is the clue I have given you so far during these chapters. **

**Clue ~ Charlie doesn't believe Edward is right for Bella, mostly because he doesn't have a job. **

**I know Jacob proposing seems to be a big shocker. Just so you know, its because he is panicking that Edward will get there first :) **

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and as always, review please**


	5. Chapter 4 : Unwell

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! You are all amazing! Most of you wanted to know what Alice was going to say, so here you are!! :) Enjoy! **

Chapter Four ~ Unwell.

_Matchbox Twenty ~ Unwell_

_I'm not crazy_

_I'm just a little unwell_

_I know right now you can't tell_

_But stay a while and maybe then you'll see_

_a different side to me_

_I'm not crazy_

_I'm just a little impaired_

_I know right now you don't care_

_But soon enough you're gonna think of me_

_And how I used to be._

_**BPOV**_

Before I could ask what was so urgent Alice had already hung up on me. I sighed, realising I'm must have been too reliable because she didn't even wait to hear my answer. I threw my cell phone onto the passenger seat before reversing out of the small parking space and drove out of the car park.

*****

I cut the engine as I parked outside the white mansion. Once the deafening roar of my truck was no longer blocking my ear drums from any other sound, I noticed that it was to quite. It was almost eerie. Normally laughter filled the airwaves around the house. I shook my head. _Stop being paranoid. _I thought to myself _Alice just wants to talk, maybe the rest of her family have gone out. _

Why was I feeling so nervous? This house is practically like my second home. I had been here so many times before. I got out of my truck and closed the door behind me. My gaze fell back onto the large white house in front of me. I loved coming to this house. I used to come here everyday. I'd play with Alice and Edward all day until Charlie had to come and drag me home.

What ever Alice was going to say couldn't be that bad. Could it? I shook my head again, trying to shake out that thought. _Not everyone is out to hurt you, Bella. _I sucked in a deep breath and made my way to the porch.

I pressed the door bell, as I waited nervously for Alice to open the door. I could hear her footsteps reach the door. She greeted me with a wide smile. I immediately relaxed. I felt so stupid for expecting Alice to say something that would hurt me. I felt the urge to smack my forehead. _Not everyone is like him._

"What did you want to talk about Alice?" I questioned as we walked towards the living room. She took a seat on the large white couch, patting the seat next to her, I sat where she indicated. She waved her hand, her way of telling me she will get to it later. Her large hazel eyes looked down and widened, a small smile played on her lips.

"Bella, why are you wearing my brothers coat?" I instantly blushed and looked down. I could feel her eyes still on me.

"It was cold." I mumbled. She laughed. "What did you want to talk about Alice?" I asked, determined to get the subject off of me. Her laughter stopped and her face became serious.

"Bella, are you okay?"

My brow furrowed. "Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" Confusion lay thick in my voice.

She shook her head, grasping both of my hands. Her eyes looked straight into mine. "I mean, are you really okay?" I stiffened and didn't respond. "I didn't think so," she mumbled under her breath. I pulled my hands out of hers and look down, seeing nothing. "Bella you don't have to suffer in silence, I am here for you, you know that, right?" I nodded. "Bella, please, just hear me out. Don't block me any more. Please." I looked up to see her eyes shimmer with tears.

"Alice?" I asked, hesitantly. I hadn't ever seen her cry. She was always too happy and upbeat for tears. She breathed in deeply, trying to control the sobs that threatened to over come her.

"Bella, for two months now I haven't had my best friend. You have been locked up. Because of what that _jerk_ did to you. Do you remember that day Bella?" I looked at her as if she was mad. Of course I remembered that day. "That is not what I meant Bella. I meant do you remember what happened before we saw-" She stopped mid-sentence, worried she may have upset me. I kept my expression neutral. "Do you remember before we drove home?" I racked my brains. But I honestly couldn't remember. I instantly felt guilty. "I didn't think so." I winced at the hurt that was in her voice.

"Alice, I am sorry." And I truly was. I was so wrapped up in my hurt, that I didn't even notice how much I had hurt my best girlfriend. A half smile made its way onto her face.

"I understand, honestly I do. But you don't have to suffer in silence. I am here for you Bella."

"I know Alice. And honestly, it doesn't hurt as much." Her eyebrow raised, questioning if what I said was true. "Alice, I mean it. Of course, it hurt seeing it. On the day he is supposed to leave on a business trip we see him kissing another girl. Of course that hurt. And yes, it hurt when I gave him my engagement ring back. Yes it hurt, but." I stopped to take in a deep breath. "He isn't worth it."

Alice squealed, pulling me into a tight hug. "I am so proud of you." She whispered into my ear. I laughed and pulled back.

"You should have called me over before Alice, if you were missing me." A guilty expression crossed her face. "Alice?"

"That wasn't the only reason I called you over." She look down at her hands. "I called you over to talk to you about Edward." Her words didn't make any sense to me. My eyebrows pulled together in confusion.

"What about him?" Alice gaze lifted to meet mine, and for the second time today, the second time I had ever seen, her eyes were glistening with tears.

"Bella, it was hard to loose you two months ago, but to loose my brother as well." Her voice broke twice. She sucked in a deep breath. "Have you noticed that in the last four months he has changed?" Like he isn't in that body at all?"

"Like he is dead inside." I whispered.

"Exactly." Alice mumbled. Her gaze fell back to her lap. It was only then, seeing her so fragile, did I realise how much pain she was in. She had lost the two people she felt closest to, apart from Jasper. "How can I help?" I was determined to help, to finally put Alice out of this misery.

"Bella, how do you feel about Edward?" She said suddenly, her eyes now clear of tears. I blushed, instantly looking down.

"How do you mean?" I questioned, refusing to meet her gaze.

"Are you purposely being dumb, Bella?" My head shot up.

"Excuse me?" Alice huffed. Then she became very serious again, taking my hands into hers, staring straight at me again.

"I know you both are best friends but I want to know, do you feel anything deeper for him?" The blush covered my whole face this time. I shrugged, looking down once again. Alice sighed deeply. I could feel her eyes burning into my skull. I met her gaze and she squealed. "I knew it!"

"You knew it before I could even admit it to myself, Alice." I mumbled. Alice's expression turned smug.

"You are just easy to read, Bella. But anyway. Are you _in love_ with Edward?" As the blush deepened, Alice knew the answer. "I am going to take that as a yes."

"Did you just ask me to come over just to make fun of me?" I quizzed, raising my eyebrow. Alice laughed.

"Of course not Bella."

"Alice, what do you want from me?" I asked, exasperated.

"You need to tell Edward!" My eyes widened.

"Are you insane?! I can't tell him that! That would completely ruin our friendship!" I ranted, throwing my hands into the air. Alice face held nothing but confusion.

"Why?"

"Because he doesn't feel the same." Alice groaned, running her hand down her face, completely exasperated.

"Of course he does Bella!" She stood up, staring me down. I rose up too.

"Why would he, Alice?" I challenged. Alice groaned and placed her hands on either side of my head.

"Because you are gorgeous, you are smart, you are amazing, you are perfect, Bella! Please, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, get that through your thick skull!"

"Whatever, Alice. Your just biased." I mumbled, pulling her hands off of my face.

"Edward loves you Bella! Do you want to know why he has been so depressed over the last four months?" She took my silence as a yes. " Because four months ago you and Jacob started dating!"

"Well, if that is true, then why didn't he say anything after Jacob left?"

"Because he is just as insecure as you are Bella!"

"I don't know Alice." I still couldn't believe what she was telling me. Why would someone like Edward love me? Alice groaned again.

"Would you believe it if Edward told you himself?"

"Maybe but-" The ringing of Alice's home phone cut me off. She huffed but ran off to answer it.

"Oh, hi Charlie." Hearing my dad's name made me realise I hadn't told him I would be going out. I walked towards Alice. "Charlie...its okay.... Bella's here.... I'll put her on." Alice held out the phone for me to take. I held my breath, waiting for the rush of anger and worrying mixed into one, Charlie didn't disappoint.

"Bella! Where have you been?! I come home and you weren't here, I tried calling your cell phone but there wasn't an answer. Why didn't you leave me a note-"

"Dad, breath okay?" I said, cutting him off. "I'm sorry, I had to pop out, I went to the park and then to Alice's, I left my cell phone in my truck, I didn't leave a note because I didn't expect you back so soon."

There was a pause, then Charlie sighed. "Okay, just next time, leave a note anyway."

"Sure Dad, I'm going to come home now."

"Okay Bells, see you."

"Bye Dad." I pressed the end button and handed the phone back to Alice. "Sorry Al, you know what Charlie is like." Alice chuckled.

"Its fine, don't worry."

"Okay, well I best go now." I said, already walking towards the door. I could hear Alice's footsteps behind me. As I made it to her door, I turned. Alice jumped me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"It's good to have you back." She mumbled, against my shoulder.

"It's good to be back." I mumbled, squeezing tighter. After another five seconds, I pulled out of the hug, turning back to the door. I turned the handle to open it, stepped through it and walked down the concrete steps.

"Bella, will you be at home tomorrow?" She called from behind me, I looked over my shoulder.

"Of course, why?"

"Oh, no reason." She said quickly, darting into the house, closing the door behind her. I shrugged it off, suddenly eager to get home. So much had happened today that I just wanted to go to bed. I noticed then how dark it had become. My mind ran over what I had learnt today. I realised that I was over Jacob, I was in love with Edward, and, according to Alice, Edward loved me.

A smile played across my face. If what Alice had said was true, maybe Edward and I could finally be together. My smile widened as I thought about us together. Bella Black didn't sound right. Bella Cullen. Now that was perfect.

**I hope you all enjoyed that chapter. I'm not quite sure if it flowed right, but I hoped you liked it anyway. And the next chapter will be Edward's POV. :) As always, please review. Reviews are like gold! **


	6. Chapter 5 : Accidently In Love

**You guys seriously do not know how much your reviews mean to me! I wish you could have seen my face when I looked at my inbox only to find it filled with reviews and alerts! I love you all! **

**Disclaimer : Because I always forgot to write this part, I just want you to know, I in no way shape or form own a smidge of Twilight. I don't even own this computer! :( **

Chapter 5 ~ Accidently In Love

_Counting Crows ~ Accidently In Love_  
_Come on, come on  
Turn a little faster  
Come on, come on  
The world will follow after  
Come on, come on  
Cause everybody's after love_

We all pulled up to the house after our weekly visit to the homeless shelter. We went there ever week, delivering food and clothes that we didn't want. It was a family thing, unusually Alice opted to stay home. Esme, Carlisle and Jasper entered the garage first in Carlisle's black Mercedes closely followed by Rose and Emmett in Emmett's beast of a Jeep, leaving me to enter last, alone as always in my Volvo. I cut the engine and out of the corner of my eye I noticed Jasper dart out of the Mercedes and through the side entrance that led to the house. Couldn't he last a few hours without Alice? I stepped out of my car sighing and slammed the door too forcefully. I was too bitter to care. They all stepped out of their cars, but intentionally avoided my gaze.

Emmett pulled Rosalie into a loving hug, whilst Carlisle took hold of Esme's hand. All four of them turned and walked through the side entrance. Everything was just perfect, they were perfect for each other, their love was perfect, their lives were perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. I gagged.

Emmett and Alice were lucky. They had their soul mates practically handed to them. About five years ago, Carlisle had bought Jasper and Rosalie home. They had been dumped at the hospital by their piss head mother. Carlisle signed all the paper work so that they could live with us. Alice and Jasper had grown closer, so had Emmett and Rosalie and one day they had announced that they were dating, closely followed by Alice and Jaspers announcement that they were dating too. I had been happy for them, at the time. But in the last four months, being surrounded by happy couples just caused my bitterness to grow. Frustrated, I hit the button to close the garage door and stormed through the side entrance.

"Edward?" Alice called out. I grumbled.

"What Alice?" I said, letting my annoyance seep through to my tone. She walked around the corner so that she was now in view.

"I want to talk to you." She stated, walking past me to the flight of stairs. Her foot hit the bottom step and I hadn't moved an inch. She huffed and looked over her shoulder. "Please, it is really important." I frowned, but followed after her. She was silent as we climbed the three flights of stairs, which was extremely rare and odd for Alice. I worried slightly, something is troubling her. I vowed to myself as we made it to my bedroom that I would sort whatever it was out.

Alice walked in to my room, slumping onto the sofa. I chose to sit on the bed, facing her. My eyebrow raised, questioning her as she stared straight at me. Her mouth opened and closed again, she did this again before shaking her head. Her gaze falling on her twiddling hands. "Alice, what is it?"

"Just hear me out!" She blurted out. Her tone shocked me. I opened my mouth to speak but she raised her hand. "Just listen Edward, please. It's about Bella." I gasped, my eyes now closed. I could feel myself going to lock down mode. This was a very touchy and painful subject and Alice knew that. "Edward, don't you dare!" Alice growled. My eyes shot open. Alice had never so much as raised her voice at me, let alone growl. A tear ran down her cheek. "You have been like this for four months Edward, I hate it. It's like I have lost my twin." She mumbled. I sighed inwardly. Okay, so I had been different for a few months, but who could blame me? I looked again at Alice. I winced slightly. I had vowed I would sort this out on our way up the stairs. It's time to follow through.

I got off the bed and walked towards, holding my arms open for her. She jumped up and ran into them. I locked my arms around her and let us fall back, so we were both sitting on the couch. I could feel her tears seep through my shirt. I smoothed her hair, it was always a gesture that calmed her. Her small sobs died down as she tried to control her breathing. "Will you please just listen, Edward?" It was hard to deny her that when she was obviously hurting a lot.

"Of course, Alice."

"Good!" She exclaimed, wriggling out of the hug. She now wore a huge grin. I sighed, sometimes her mood swings scared me. If she hadn't been like this her whole life, I would have sworn she was on drugs. "So I hear you and Tanya are no more?" My brow knitted together. Where is she going with this?

"Yeah, I dumped her this morning." Her eyes lightened up. I knew Alice had never liked Tanya. But then Tanya had never liked Alice. All they could do was glare at each other.

"Good. I hated that witch!" Letting fake shock sweep across my face, I looked down to Alice.

"No, really Alice?" My words were dripping with sarcasm. She huffed and mumbled what sounded like some more insults directed at my ex.

I sat patiently waiting whilst letting Alice get this out of her system. I let my mind run over why Alice would want to talk to me about Bella. Could something be wrong with her? No, she would have told me this morning. My breathing faltered as one name crossed my mind. _Jacob._ Could he be back? I know he wasn't supposed to return for another month, but what if he had returned early? What if he managed to convince Bella to become his fiancée again? My breath sped up.

"Edward!" Alice called, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "You were saying?"

"I said, Bella come over today." That caught my attention.

"She what? Why?"

"I asked her over, Edward. She told me something quite...interesting today."

"Interesting?" I mulled that over in my head. What did she mean by interesting? "Alice, don't toy with me, please. Just tell me."

Alice shook her head. "You never were patient Edward. But I need to ask you something first." I nodded, signalling her to go ahead. "How do you feel about Bella?"

"I think that's pretty obvious, don't you?" I snapped. Alice didn't even wince at my tone, she continued to stare straight at me.

"Do you love her?" I nodded. "Say it, say it out loud Edward."

"I love her, okay Alice? I am in love with Bella!" I almost shouted my statement at her. She seemed pleased with her self, bringing a pillow from behind her and clutching it, fiddling with the edges."Was there any point to this?" She looked up and grinned.

"Yes. Tell her Edward." I stuttered. I blinked at her. "Oh for Pete sake! Don't look so shocked! What else did you expect me to say? You have to tell Bella this."

"I tried once, remember? That didn't go well did it?!" I jumped up, staring Alice down. She jumped up too. Her tiny finger poked me in the chest.

"You didn't try hard enough!"

"What do you mean I didn't try hard enough?!" I shouted at her, inches from her face. She glared back at me.

"Maybe if you hadn't wallowed in self pity for the last four months you and Bella could be together right now, saving you both a lot of misery!" She screamed in my face. Her finger poking my chest so hard I know I will have a bruise in the morning. But as her words sunk in, I couldn't find it in my to be mad at Alice.

"But Charlie." I whispered.

"Is her dad. Of course he told you not to date his daughter."

"And Jacob."

"Is a cheating bastard who isn't here any more." I had ran out of reasons. I knew it wasn't really any of those reasons that I hadn't told Bella. The truth was, I was scared. Alice placed her palm on my cheek.

"Edward, look at me," I obeyed, "Bella told me herself. She loves you too." I automatically shock my head, not letting myself hope. "Why would I lie to you?" I couldn't find a reason so I shut my eyes, accepting defeat. "Okay, so tomorrow, you are going round to Bella's house and you are going to tell her how you feel. Charlie is out all day fishing so you don't need to worry about him. Don't chicken out this time. If you don't tell her, don't bother coming home okay?" Her hand slid off of my cheek and I could hear her footsteps become further and further away.

"Alice!" I called out, my eyes shooting opening as I spun around. She stopped, looking over her shoulder. "What do I say?" I whispered.

She rolled her eyes, huffing. "This is going to be a long night." She mumbled.

* * * * *

I shut the door to my Volvo and walked slowly up the path which led to Bella's front door. Alice had stayed up till 1am with me, trying to help me build the courage to do this. All that courage from last night had completely left my body. I wanted nothing more then to run to my Volvo and drive very far away. But Alice's words floated in my head _She loves you. _Those words were the only reason that I was still here and not somewhere like Canada.

I knocked the door once, a small part of me was hoping that she wasn't in. My breath caught in my throat as she answered the door. Her hair was tied in a messy bun. She was wearing a dark blue sweatshirt and loose fitting jeans. She was so beautiful. Her big brown orbs stared at me, widening in surprised. A smile played on her lips. "Hey Edward." She greeted. Her voice made my heart stutter. "Come in." I did as told, moving past her into the hallway, noticing a cleaning bucket by her feet. She always did her housework on Sundays. I noticed my coat on her hook by the door. I smiled at it, liking the way it looked next to hers. "Sorry for taking you coat yesterday." She unhooked it and chucked it at me. I folded it over my arm.

"Thanks and don't worry about it. Can we um, go sit in the living room?" She looked slightly confused but agreed. She slumped onto the sofa, but I opted to kneel by her feet, wanting to be as close as I could. She sat up straight, looking down at me, her head cocked to the side.

"Edward what's-" I raised my hand.

"Bella, no questions please, I need to just say this." She made a show of zipping her mouth. I smiled, whilst trying to sort out my words. Should I work around it? Or just go for the direct approach? I decided to go with the direct approach. Sucking in a deep breath I decided to go for it. "Bella I l-" A loud knock interrupted me. She stood to answer it. "Bella, I need to tell you something." I protested

She chuckled. "I'm sure it can wait till I have answered the door!" She walked off.

"Damn it." I muttered. I heard to door click and the sudden intake of breath from Bella. I walked around the corner, curiously, so I could see who was at the door. As the door came into view, my hands balled into fists. I cursed under my breath.

This was not going to end well.

***Duck and covers* Sorry... Hope you don't hate me!!**


	7. Chapter 6 : Earth To Bella

**I hope you like this chapter, I think it is like Marmite. You will either love it or you will hate it! Enjoy! **

Chapter 6 ~ Earth to Bella

_Incubus ~ Earth to Bella_

_Earth to Bella  
You think you've got it all figured in  
Earth to Bella  
Everything you know is wrong (well almost)  
Earth to Bella  
I see where you are not listening  
I bear the burden of being the voice that let's you know  
We all grow old  
And before you swim you've gotta be okay to sink_

**BPOV**

I opened the door and as soon as I saw that face I could feel all the air whoosh out of me. "Jacob?" I wheezed. I stumbled slightly. Everything was spinning. What was he doing here? How dare he show up after leaving me for two months!

"Bells are you okay?" His hands fell to my waist trying to support me. I smacked them away, stepping back from him. He stepped through the door following me, his hand out stretched slightly. "Bella, please." I shook my head at him. His hand encircled my wrist, stopping me from stepping back any further. "Bella please, just listen to me." He whispered softly whilst his eyes pleaded with me. I heard footsteps behind me.

"Bella, I really need to talk to you." Edward's voice rang out. I looked over my shoulder to see Edward walking towards me. He looked pointedly at Jacob. "Alone." He exaggerated the word. I turned back to Jacob. A flash of anger crossed his eyes. It was gone so quickly I was sure I wasn't supposed to see that.

"Sorry, but I need to talk to my fiancée." He turned to me, flashing me a quick smile. I snatched my arm back. I opened my mouth to argue when I caught Edward's expression out of the corner of my eye. Hurt and anger, mixed into one.

"Edward?" I turned to fully face him, Jacob now behind me. His eyes flickered to me. All the anger washed off of his face. But the hurt was still present. He walked towards me now just inches apart.

"Bella, please, I really need to talk to you." His emerald eyes were pleading. I heard Jacob scoff from behind me. I turned to glare. How dare he scoff at Edward when he left me!

"Jacob why don't you just go! I want to talk to Edward. At least he didn't leave me for 2 months after cheating on me!" Jacobs eyes widened and his mouth fell open. I felt slightly smug for managing to shock him that much. Jacob managed to recompose his expression. I expected him to say something to me but instead he surprised me. His eyes flickered to Edward.

"Edward, if you care about Bella at all you will let me talk to her." My eyes flickered between Edward and Jacob. Their expression were the same. Neutral.

"I do care about her. That is why I won't leave her to talk to you."

"Edward please. I need to talk to Bella. It is crucial that I do so. She seems to be under the impression that I cheated on her."

"Will you both stop talking about me. I am right her you know!" I said, exasperated. Edward eyes met mine but Jacobs were still fixed on Edward. Then something Jacob said suddenly sunk in. "Wait, what do you mean under the impression?" Something flashed across Jacob eyes. It disappeared to quickly for me to comprehend.

"Bella, I didn't cheat on you." His eyes bored into mine. They held nothing but honesty. I shook my head. But I saw them kissing. "Bella, please listen to me. Leah kissed me. I didn't ask her too and I didn't want her too." I kept shaking my head. My lips formed words but nothing came out.

"This is ridiculous Bella. Jacob is a liar." Edward said.

"I am not a liar. Leah kissed me. I didn't kiss her."

"Then why didn't you tell Bella straight away instead of leaving for two months." Edward quizzed. I turned back to Jacob. I wanted to know that too.

"Because I was scared. I didn't want Bella to reject me I care about her too much. I thought she would tell me to never speak to her again. I left to let her cool down." Jacob turned to me, his eyes pleading. All the pieces seemed to fit together. I guess the reason he left me was understandable. But I was sure I had seen Jacob kissing Leah back, his hands up her top. Could I have been mistaken? "You believe me, don't you Bella?" Jacob whispered, his eyes begging now. I bit down on my lip, my eyes now on the floor. It made sense didn't it? He knew how hurt I was because my mum cheated on my dad when I was young, I had told him how upset that had made my dad. Surely he wouldn't do that same to me? Could my mind have been playing tricks on me? Because I was so disgusted and hurt by what I saw maybe I had mutated it in my head. I looked back up to Jacob. I scanned his face for any sign that he was not telling the truth. Nothing but honesty. So I nodded.

His eyes brightened up. They shifted to look behind me, a smug smile played on his lips. Before I could question it Jacob was suddenly knocked backwards slumping on the floor. Edward flew past me and jumped on Jacob. His fists made contact with Jacobs face and body. "Edward!" I screamed out. "Stop it!" I ran at him, grabbing hold of his right arm. His left fist kept punching. "Stop it!" I screeched louder. Edward stopped and he shot up off of Jacob. Pure hate directed at Jacob was radiating off of him.

"Bella you can't honestly believe him! He cheated on you!" He pointed at Jacob. Jacob groaned, his hand flew to his nose. The blood was running down his face. I could feel the nausea creeping on. Edward turned back to Jacob, his eyes held fury. "Your a piece of shit Jacob!" He shouted as he kicked Jacob hard in his side. I gasped as the thud of Edwards foot making contact with Jacobs side echoed around me.

"Just get out Edward." I whispered harshly. This was a side to Edward I had never seen. And it scared me. Jacob shuffled towards me so that he was no longer blocking the door. I knelt down next to Jacob, holding his face as he tried to stop the flow of blood from his nose, it was defiantly broken. His other hand moved to hold the hand I was using to hold his cheek. Edward was still staring at me. At my hand on Jacobs cheek to be more precise. I could see the sadness he had in his eyes. Edward took on last look at me before he opened the door. No. No no no! I didn't mean it. I let go of Jacob. I wanted to say something. Anything. Just to stop Edward walking through that door. I couldn't speak. I couldn't even breathe.

"Bella, I am sorry for upsetting you. I hope you will be happy with Jacob, I really do. You won't have to worry about me any more. Unless you tell me any different now I will leave for good." He paused, waiting to see if I would stop him. I wanted to. With all my heart. But I was frozen. Edward sighed. "I will not stay where I am not wanted so I guess this is goodbye. I wish you all the happiness you deserve Bella. Jacob, you can burn in hell." He stepped through the door, slamming it hard behind him.

Edward was gone. Forever. He wasn't coming back. All I had to do was to say stay and he would still be here. My eyes welled. Shit. Bella you have truly messed this up for you. I could hear from outside the engine of his Volvo start. Suddenly my brain kicked into action and so did my legs. I jumped up and over Jacob and sprinted to the door, pulling it open as quickly as I could not breaking my stride as I jumped out of the door, leaping down each step, using the last one as a spring board. Amazed that I made it this far without falling I looked up from the ground.

Edwards Volvo pulled out of the driveway and sped off down the road. "Edward!" I called out using

all the volume I could. I knew it was hopeless, yet I still ran. I ran down the drive shouting Edwards name over like a mantra. A sob broke free. The car was too far away for him to hear me. I pushed my legs harder. _Come on Bella you have to do this!_ I willed myself. I pushed harder but my foot suddenly caught on a rock, sending me to the floor. I lifted my head looking for the Volvo. Another sob racked through my body. The Volvo was gone. The tears and sobs freely came now. The pain was intense. It felt as if when Edward left he had ripped out my heart and taken it with him. I heard footsteps approach me.

"Bella, I am so sorry." Jacob said from behind me.

"Just go please Jacob." I whispered. My voice held no emotion. I heard the footsteps retreat in the other direction. Sucking in a deep breath I pushed myself up. I felt weak, unstable as I stumbled back to my house in a daze. I can't believe how this day had turned out. I thought Edward and I were going to be happy together by the end of it. Then Jacob came and ruined it. I groaned. Who am I kidding? I ruined it. I could have told him how I felt when he threatened to leave. I should have shouted at him. Told him not to go. Instead I just let him. I am a fool. No one else would have been stupid enough to watch their love walk out the door! I climbed up the stairs leading to my still open front door. The sobs shook me as I shut the door.

On the floor by where Edward was stood before he hit Jacob was his coat. I swiftly picked it up. I held it close to my chest, leaning my face into it and sniffing it deeply, taking in Edwards glorious smell. The smell I would never get the good fortune to smell again. I would never see Edward again. I fell to my knees, the world now spinning as the blackness consumed me.

***Duck and covers again!*  
I would just like to let you all know that from now on I won't be updating as often as I have been. The only reason I was updating this often was because I had actually already written the last 6 chapters. And as, I know this seems to be an excuse most authors are using now, my life is hectic. I am in my last year of school so I am hoping you can all imagine what that is like!**

Also, I would like to say I am very sorry for the turn this chapter has taken. 

**As always please review! More reviews = quicker updates. :)**


	8. Chapter 7 : Wake Me Up Inside

**This chapter is going to start roughly half way through the last chapter. That way you get to know what Edward was thinking :) **

Chapter 7 ~ Wake Me Up Inside

_Evanescence ~ Wake Me Up Inside_

(Wake me up)  
Wake me up inside.  
(I can't wake up)  
Wake me up inside.  
(Save me)  
Call my name and save me from the dark.  
(Wake me up)  
Bid my blood to run.  
(I can't wake up)  
Before I come undone.  
(Save me)  
Save me from the nothing I've become.

**EPOV**

As soon as Jacob looked at me and that smug smile that I knew too well had returned to his face, I completely lost it. I dropped my coat and flew at Jacob. Knocking him to the floor. Jumping on him I let my fist fly out. My first punch made Jacobs nose give off a satisfying crunching sound. _Broken_ I thought smugly. I thought of all the times he had hurt me. All the times he had broken something of mine. Anger flew threw me and I punched more and more. "Edward! Stop it!" Bella was screaming at me but I didn't listen to her cries. All I saw was red. I punched his face, his chest, anywhere I could. Something caught hold of my right arm but that didn't faze me. I punched with my left arm hoping that would still do some damage. "Stop it!" Bella screeched in my ear. This time I did. The sound of Bella's voice had managed to clear some of the red haze. I jumped up off of the scum that was underneath me and turned to Bella.

"Bella you can't honestly believe him! He cheated on you!" I pointed at him, shouting louder at Bella then intended. I opened my mouth to apologize when Jacob groaned. I shot a glare at him. His blood was running down his face. If it was anyone else I would have offered sympathy, but as I inflicted these wounds and it was Jacob I refused to do that. Instead thinking about what he did when it was the other way round. When he had made me bleed. He kicked me. So I did just that. Hard. In his side. "Your a piece of shit Jacob!" I spat at him.

"Just get out Edward." My eyes widened and any anger left in me suddenly disappeared. I stopped breathing as Bella crouched to hover over Jacob. She placed her hand on his cheek. His eyes drifted to meet mine as he placed his hand onto Bella's. His eyes were smug. But I couldn't find it in me to be angry. Bella had told me to get out. She looked back up at me. All I saw in her beautiful eyes was concern and hurt. I willed for that concern to be for me. I knew it wasn't. She had her Jacob back. She didn't need me. I would just ruin any chances for her to be happy. So there was only one thing I could do. I opened the door.

"Bella, I am sorry for upsetting you. I hope you will be happy with Jacob, I really do. You won't have to worry about me any more. Unless you tell me any different now I will leave for good." _Please, please tell me to stay! I don't want to leave you! Just say the word and I will be here for __you, to be anything you want me to be! _Nothing. She didn't utter a word. I sighed as I could feel my heart shatter. "I will not stay where I am not wanted so I guess this is goodbye. I wish you all the happiness you deserve Bella. Jacob, you can burn in hell." I stepped through the door and slammed it hard behind me. I pulled out letter from my pocket and bent down to slip it under her door mat. All I could hope is that she would find it. Sucking in a deep breath I ran to my Volvo. Now desperate to get out of here. Pulling the door shut I turned the ignition on and sped out of the driveway, speeding down the road, the opposite direction to my house.

My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, the I.d read "Pixie". I flipped it open and pressed it to my ear. "What!" I grumbled, keeping one hand on the wheel. Alice giggled.

"Am I interrupting yours and Bella's getting together time?" Wow. I didn't think today get worse. But of course it would. Alice had talked to me all night last about what to say to Bella. She also suggested some things that shouldn't even be thought of until you have dated at least a few months not minutes. She had been so excited that Bella and I would finally be getting together. Now I had destroy that happiness. As if today hadn't already been painful enough for me. "Edward, are you still there?" I tried to pluck up the courage to tell her. I just couldn't do it.

"Alice I have to go." I had my finger hovering over the end button when Alice's laugh rang out.

"Can't you two wait a few minutes?" I understood immediately what she was suggesting and it felt like a dagger to my already broken heart.

"Alice, Bella and I not together okay!" Alice's laughter stopped immediately.

"What do you mean Edward?" Alice voice was suddenly serious and business like.

"Jacob turned up."

"Jacob," she hissed the name. "How dare he after everything he has done to Bella! Wait, what difference does Jacob make?"

"Apparently a lot. He told Bella he didn't cheat on her. He said Leah kissed him. He told her it was all one way."

"That lieing ass hole! No, please tell me Bella didn't believe him!" I sighed and Alice took that for confirmation. "How could she be so stupid! They were practically shagging in front of us! That is it! I am going to talk to her tomorrow. She needs to-"

"No Alice." I cut her off. "Let her be."

"What?" I could hear the thick confusion in her voice.

"She is happy with Jacob. I told her to stop me if she wanted me in her life all she had to do was tell me not to leave. Obviously now she has Jacob she doesn't want me."

"Edward surely she wants you in her life. You are best friends if not more!"

"Alice. She didn't stop me." I knew the next thing I would say was horrible and that it would kill Alice to do this. But it was best for Bella. "You need to promise me Alice that you won't interfere with her relationship with Jacob. She loves him and if there is going to be any hope for her to be happy with him, you can't ruin it for her. Don't tell her the truth about Jacob and Leah or even the truth about my feelings. You need to leave her alone."

"But Edward-"

"Promise me Alice."

"Okay. I promise." Her voice cracked.

"I am so sorry Alice. I know you love her too."

"I understand."

"Can you do me one more favour?"

"Sure." She sniffed.

"Tell Mom and Dad I love them, okay?"

"What, Edward why can't you tell them yourself?"

"Because I am not coming back. I can't. As long as Bella and Jacob are in Forks I can't return there. It will hurt too much."

"Please don't." Alice sobbed.

"I'm sorry Alice. I love you."

"I love you too." Her voice cracked again. I chose that moment to close the phone and slide it back into my pocket. Deciding it was best not to drive right now I pulled over. I let my head fall back, hitting the head rest.

Why does everything go wrong? Why can't anything just be simple? I ran my hand over my face. I am a total idiot. Why had I left it so late to tell Bella how I felt? I knew I loved her when I was 15. I had three years to tell her and yet I still hadn't. Instead of putting up a fight when Charlie told me I wasn't good enough I let Jacob go ahead and win the heart of my girl. I deserved everything I got. I sighed and closed my eyes, letting myself think of how Alice had planned this day.

_Last Night _

"_I love you Bella. I always have. I want us to be together." _

"_Good. But maybe it needs to be longer." Alice nodded whilst writing down some lines on her notepad. "Yes, needs to be longer." She handed me the notepad, motioning for me to read it. _

"_Bella you are my shining star, my world, my everything. You don't know how much you mean to me. I love you. I want us to be together. Please, be mine." I looked at Alice and raised my eyebrow. "Are you kidding me with this? This sounds like some cheesy line out of a book." _

_Alice rolled her eyes and sighed. "What's wrong with wanting a man to be romantic? I'm sure Bella would love this!" _

"_No," I disagreed. "She would want me to be myself." _

"_Well, what are you going to do? Say what Emmett said to Rosalie?" Her voice took on a deep tone as she mimicked Emmett. She stood up and tried to beef her self up. "Yo bitch. How 'bout you and me get it together." I laughed. "Some how I don't think Bella is going to be impressed by that." _

"_No. She really wouldn't." Alice plopped herself back next to me on the couch. _

"_Bella would love something romantic, wouldn't she? So hows about you go and tell Bella how you feel then drive her back here for a romantic meal? Candle light and everything. I'll cook a big meal for you two whilst you are around her house. I will even get rid of everyone. And don't worry, once I have served up I will disappear too." I smiled brightly at Alice. She was a genius. _

"_Alice that is an amazing idea!" She smiled smugly. _

"_I know." _

"_But are you sure this is going to work?" I asked, nervous again. _

_Alice placed her hand on my shoulder. "Of course it will. No one deserves happiness like you two." She smiled and gave my shoulder and encouraging squeeze. "Now I don't know about you, but I think it is time to get some sleep." She stood and stretched. "Don't worry, Edward. It is going to be fine." Alice said before leaving my room. _

"Don't worry, Edward. It is going to be fine." Those words swam around my head. Everything was far from fine. I have lost Bella forever. She was never going to be mine. She would never know how I felt. I also just made Alice promise me not to interfere with Bella any more. Bella was also Alice's best friend and I just took her away from her. What about Mom and Dad? What would they say when they realised I wasn't coming back. I guess I wouldn't find out. I just needed to get out of Forks and never come back. With that thought I turned the ignition back on and pulled out into the road. Destination: anywhere but here.

**A bit of a sad chapter, isn't it? Sorry about that. I know a number of you prefer Edwards POV but we may (nothing is ever certain) not hear from him for a while. Sorry. Again. **

**Thank you for commenting on my story, it means a lot to me :) **

**Please review as I did get this chapter out so quickly! (Don' get used to it!!) **

**L****o****ts of love! Xx**

**Hayley**


	9. Chapter 8 : Stop Crying Your Heart Out

**I want to say thank you to everyone who has reviewed the last chapter! You don't know how much each one means to me. **

**Secondly, I bet you all can't believe this! I have updated again! :o I guess I just couldn't leave the story where it was. I just had to write more. **

**Lastly, this is a very short chapter. I think it is the shortest yet. Sorry, but this more of a filler chapter. Okay, read on! :) **

**Chapter 8 ~ Stop Crying your heart out**

_Oasis – Stop Crying Your Heart Out_

_Cause all of the stars_

_Have faded away_

_Just try not worry_

_You'll see them some day_

_Take what you need_

_and be on your way_

_and stop crying your heart out._

**BPOV**

He was really gone. He was never coming back. I don't remember much after he left, all I know is that Charlie had found me on the floor when he returned home from fishing. He tried to take me to Carlisle to make sure I was okay, but I kicked and screamed and cried some more, refusing to go. I couldn't go to that house so soon. Everything would remind me of him. It would hurt too much. It still hurts now. A month later. I dipped my hands back into the warm bubbly water in the sink, grabbing another dish to wash. _At least you still have Jacob. _I thought to myself.

Jacob had came back the next day and refused to leave even though I had screamed and shouted at him. Telling him how much I hated him for ruining what Edward and I could have had. I know it wasn't fair to blame Jacob for this. I just shouted at him, needed to get some of the anger I had built inside of me out. I thought Jacob would leave me then too. Jacob never gave up. He refused to leave and barged past me into the house. As Jacob shut the door I burst into tears. Everything reminded me of him. Even the shutting of the door. Jacob wrapped me into a protective hug until I had cried myself to sleep.

Jacob hardly left me in the past month. For that I was grateful. It was painful enough with Jacob, let alone if I had to face this alone. That thought was unbearable. Jacob had spent most of the first week with me just letting me cry it out. It wasn't until roughly 2 weeks after Edward had left did I realise, Edward and I were never together. So surely it was wrong for me to grieve for something that never was? Jacob was here now. He kept repeatedly telling me how much he loved me. That he would always be here for me. That was something he promised me that Edward never did. He would always be here for me. He wouldn't leave. Not when I needed him.

That was something Edward couldn't do for me. And that's be there when I needed him. He wasn't here now when I needed him so desperately. I know Jake just thinks I am this upset because he is, was, my best friend. Which was part of it. Edward and I had grown up together, I used to see him almost every day and now I was never going to see him again. Yet I had always hoped we would be more. Alice had told me years ago that she was going to plan mine and Edward's wedding. I laughed it off then, not letting on how much I wished that could be true.

That's why I felt so guilty now. I felt guilty first time around as well. When Jacob and I first started dating all I could think of, am I betraying that part of me that craves to be with Edward? At least this time, that part of me doesn't have a choice because Edward isn't here. And every time I looked into Jacobs dark brown eyes all I could see was adoration and love for me. That's when I gave up on being with Edward. I buried that part of me deep inside, refusing to ever let it resurface. I had sat Jacob down a week ago now and we had decided to pick up our relationship where we had left off. Yesterday he had proposed. I accepted.

Things had certainly changed. Charlie doesn't fish as much any more. He used to fish every weekend with Billy and Harry, Jacobs dad and a friend from La Push. Now Charlie stays at home and watches T.V with Billy. I think it may be because he doesn't want to leave Jacob and I home alone. Jacob and Billy practically live here now. Charlie even built a wooden removable ramp to make it easier for Billy to get inside the house. Why he didn't do that years ago I will never know.

There was one change that made the biggest and the saddest impact on my life, I hadn't seen any of Cullen's for a month. Not even Alice. I had text her a lot in the last month but if she replied, it was always a vague yes, no or OK. Which was strange for Alice. She was always one for texting essays and she hated if someone gave a one word answer so why would she give them herself? I had text her last night to tell her that Jacob and I were getting married but she hadn't replied. She always replied. I hadn't heard from Esme and Carlisle either. Which was just as strange as Alice not replying. If Esme and Carlisle hadn't seen me in over a week they would always call and see how I am, or invite me round or even stop by to talk to Charlie and I. Esme and Carlisle were like my second Mom and Dad. And losing them added to the pain too.

It wasn't fair to say that I had moved on and forgotten Edward. That couldn't have been further from the truth. He was always in my thoughts and will forever be in my heart. I'd lie awake at night and think of him. Remembering all the small details. His eyes, his voice, his smell, his hair, his chin, his nose, the way it felt when he would wrap his arms around me, the way his smile made my heart flutter. I couldn't help but compare Jacob to him. I know it wasn't fair to do that. Yet I still did. Every time Jacob would hug me or smile at me I try and pretend he is Edward. I know it is wrong of me but I do wish he was Edward a lot of the time. Until I would scold myself. _You should be grateful you have someone. _And I am.

It was times like these I wish I was close to my Mom. I normally would talk to Esme about problems that only a motherly figure could help you with. Now I had lost her too. Other girls were lucky to have their Mothers to talk to about problems like these. Get some advise. Yet, it wasn't Renee's fault that we weren't close. It was another fault of my own. After Renee had left Charlie for Phil she asked me to come with her to Jacksonville. But I refused, wanting to stay with Dad after he had been so hurt. I sent her the occasional email but apart from that we no longer talk. I had refused to talk to her over the phone, only seeing her when forced to at family meals. I had told her I could never forgive her for what she did. Until now. Now, I understand. Charlie was her Jacob and Phil was her Edward. She had the chance to be happy with Phil and not just stay with Charlie. I would never get that chance again. I decided I would call Renee soon and tell her about Jacob and I, and also tell her that I understand why she left Charlie and that now I can forgive her. Hopefully some good could come out of Edward leaving.

Warm arms snaked around my waist. Jacob placed his chin on my shoulder. "Hey Bells."

"Hi." I turned my head slightly to look at Jacob. When my eyes met his, he sighed.

"You were think about him weren't you?" Jake said, knowingly.

"No." I denied too quickly.

"You always were a rubbish liar," Jacob chuckled. Then sighed again."But you are crying." I blushed embarrassed at being caught out. _Traitor tears! _I hissed in my head. Annoyed at myself and my pathetic tears I pulled off the rubber gloves, throwing them back at the sink. "Sorry." I mumbled. Jacob spun me around to face him.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He whispered as his thumb wiped away the tears. He left his hand on my cheek. My eyes fluttered closed. "I know you are hurting Bella." He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me to his chest. "I'm not going anywhere. " His whispered low in my ear before he placed his lips on mine. He deepened the kiss slightly before pulling away as I opened my eyes. He smiled and took hold of my hand. "I think that's enough washing up done, how about we go sit with the old men and watch some football?" I nodded and Jacob gave me one more sympathetic smile before pulling me into the living room.

**Hope you all don't hate me for Bella and Jacob getting back together. **

**I want you all to look at the song at the beginning again. I really think out of all the songs this one fits the best. **

**And also before some of you go and fetch your guns to shot me, Bella is not getting back with Jacob because she isn't hurting any more. Just because she isn't moping like she did in New Moon doesn't mean she isn't hurting. **

**Thank you for reading :D Please review :) **


	10. Chapter 9 : Breaking My Own Heart

_Chapter 9 ~ Breaking My Own Heart_

_Duffy – Breaking My Own Heart_

_I need saving  
Won't somebody save me  
From this misery  
Love is killing me  
Ooo, save me_

_Two weeks earlier._

It had been two weeks since Edward had left. When I had screwed everything up. Still sat on my bed cross legged I bowed my head, looking down at the cell phone in my hand. _Do it! _This was the only chance I had to speak to him and tell him how I feel. I needed to do this. If I didn't, then Edward and I would have no chance. I flipped it open and looked through my contacts.When Edward's number appeared on the screen my hand froze. I sucked in a deep breath, closed my eyes and pressed call. I hesitantly pressed the phone to my ear. Could hearing his voice just open up my wounds further? Should I hang up now? I tried to press down but I just couldn't do it. I need to talk to him. The ringing stopped. I felt like someone had kicked me in the gut when the automated message sounded. "This number has been disconnected." I let out the breath I didn't realise I was holding and shut my phone.

He-he disconnected his phone. I groaned and tangled my hands in my hair. My vision became unclear as the tears filled my eyes. I fought them back, tired of crying now. What use are my tears going to do? They aren't going to bring him back. I straightened up and turned to look at the clock on my bedside table. 3:46 pm. Jake was going to be back at 5:30 when he finished work. I didn't know if I wanted Jacob here or not right now. He was my tower of strength and I needed him. I still love him. The love I felt for Edward was stronger then that though. It overpowered it. I love Jacob, I really do. But if I could have Edward then why shouldn't I find him and tell him how I feel and that I want to be with him? I cursed as I realised I had no way of contacting Edward. I had no idea where he was. Then something clicked inside my head. Alice. Edward wouldn't have left without telling Alice where he was going. Alice and Edward told each other everything. I had to talk to Alice.

Without another seconds thought I jumped off my bed and ran out of the room, making my way down the stairs carefully, not wanting to fall. Surprised that I had actually made it down the stairs without a concussion I smiled. The only time I had smiled in the past two weeks. I ran for the front door, snatching my coat off of the hook, quickly putting it on to hide my t-shirt and sweat pants combo and dashed out the door.

In my haste, it seems my luck had ran out as I managed to catch my foot on the door mat, but before the stairs could do serious damage to my body I grabbed hold of the rail on the side and regained my balance. I straightened myself and spun to curse the mat when I noticed the mat had moved, revealing a white envelope. Curious, I bent down to pick it up.

_To My Dearest Bella _was written on the front in Edward's handwriting. My heart jumped. This letter was from Edward. My heart fluttered as my head screamed _rip it up!_ I imagined ripping it up and watching the pieces fly away in the wind. I knew I didn't have the strength to do that. Instead I carefully opened it, pulling out the letter with a shaky hand. I took a deep breath before I flipped it open.

_Bella. _It read.

_If you are reading this then that means something has happened to separate us. I don't know what that could be and I don't know if we were even together but there is something I know. That you feel something for me. Did you know Alice had told me that you loved me? Don't be angry at her she was only trying to help. But Bella please do something for me. Move on. Forget about me and move on. _

_I don't want you to waste your life thinking about me. I'm not worth that Bella. I guess we were never meant to be together. We were only meant to be good friends and nothing more. I'm not going to say you were nothing to me. But I love you as a friend Bella. Nothing more. Like Charlie had said, you deserve someone better then me. _

_Move on Bella. Give your love to someone else. Don't waste your time over me, I can move on so I want you to as well. _

_Edward. _

A single tear dropped and stained the letter. _So much for not crying_. I thought bitterly to myself. I crushed the letter in my fist as I turned sluggishly to walk back into the house. I couldn't see Alice now just going to that house would hurt. I couldn't track Edward down. The words had broken my heart into pieces. He didn't love me. I trudged up the steps as the words from his letter kept playing in my head, mocking me. _I can move on. _Slamming the door behind me I exhaled. Why did Edward ever feel the need to write this letter? Maybe he was never going to stay around. Maybe couldn't tell me to my face, probably too embarrassed that come like me would fancy someone like him. Did Alice know about this letter? Of course she did. Edward tells Alice everything, there is never any secrets between them! She still encouraged me to tell him how I felt. How could she do that to me? She knew Edward didn't feel as strongly about me as I do him. I guess she thought she was doing the right thing but I couldn't talk to her right now, it stung too much. Edward can move on and Alice knew. I swallowed hard. Well, I can move on too.

I stumbled to the kitchen table and collapsed onto a chair. My eyes widened as something Edward had written crept into my head. _Like Charlie had said, you deserve someone better then me. _Anger bubbled inside of me. What had Charlie said, and why on earth did that come up in conversation between them? I didn't know but I intended to find out.

* * * * * *

I parked out side the police station, pushing the door open, not even bothering to take the keys out, and jumped out slamming it shut behind me. I stormed up the path and the stairs, barging through the door. In my hast I managed to knock into one of dad's colleagues. I would have normally apologized but today I just continued, this time the next officer that crossed my path jumped out of the way. As the reception desk came into view I pushed my way in front of Mrs Newton, she mumbled something about impoliteness which I just ignored, instead slamming both hands onto the desk. "Get me Chief Swan." I growled through my teeth. The women just nodded, as if my tone hadn't fazed her at all, and swiped up the phone. "Chief Swan please." She muttered in a bored tone before hanging up. I drummed my fingers on the desktop as the women went back to talking to Mrs Newton. I tried to drone out the conversation but Mrs Newton's voice picked up in volume. "My son should be released this instant!"

"Mrs Newton, Mike is in a cell and he will remain in that cell until he sobers up." Sober up? I knew there was a big party last night at Jessicas but surely he hadn't drunk so much that he was still wrecked.

"So what he got a little drunk, that doesn't mean you have the right to arrest him!" The women sighed, obviously exasperated.

"Mike was more then a little drunk, Mrs Newton. He streaked through the whole of Forks-" I completely blocked out their conversation. The thought of Mike Newton naked was enough to make me gag. The sound of a door opening behind me made me turn. I felt the anger bubble again as Dad walked up to me.

"Bella," he smiled, "what brings you here?" I glared.

"I think you should find us some where quiet to speak." His smile was gone, confusion taken its place as he lead me through the door. He led me through the corridor, stopping as we made it to the interview room. Digging in his pocket he pulled out his set of keys. He picked the correct key and shoved it into the lock. The sound of the barrels moving seemed to echo around me. Every movement seemed to be intensified. I balled my hands into fists as Charlie opened the door and gestured for me to go first. I did so, spinning to face him as soon as I was through the door. I waited for Charlie to close the door before I opened my mouth. "How dare you Charlie." I spat. His eyes widened.

"Bella? I don't understand."

"Don't pretend you don't know what I am talking about." His expression was still blank. "You told Edward he wasn't good enough, didn't you!" Realisation painted his face.

"Bella I-"

"How dare you interfere!" I screamed at him.

"Bella, I only did what I thought was best." He stepped towards me. I held my hands up warning him not to come closer.

"How could you make that choice for me! You chose Jacob for me didn't you?!" His silent nod confirmed my suspicion. "Did you not even consider that I may have wanted Edward!" His eyes widened, his mouth falling in shock. "I love Edward a lot more then Jake, Dad, I love Edward." _He doesn't love you. _My words were no longer clear as sobs racked my body, making any anger disappear. Charlie quickly pulled me into his arms, slowly patting my hair as the tears fell. "I am so sorry Bella." Charlie said, guilt dripping from his words. I sucked in a shaky breath as I tried to soften the sobs. "It-its not your fault, I guess. He had four-four months to tell me. I just wi-wish he was here." _Just wished he loved me enough to stay. _I added in my head. Charlie let his arms drop, instead he took hold of my hand.

"Bella, I can get people to search for him. I can find Edward for you. I will call up ever police station I can to find him for you." I wanted nothing more then to let Charlie do this, to bring Edward back to me. I couldn't do that though. How could I force Edward to be here with me when he didn't feel as strongly as I want him too. It would be like forcing a magnificent bird in a cage, never letting them leave, never letting them find the happiness they deserve. My eyes welled, but I refused to let the tears drop.

"I can't do that to him." I whispered, looking down at the floor, avoiding Charlie's questioning gaze. "He doesn't love me like I love him."

"Of course he does Bella." I shook my head again as I reached into my pocket, pulling out the scrunched up piece of paper. I offered it to Charlie. His brow furrowed as he unscrewed it. He began reading it. His jaw slackened more as he continued down the page. His eyes met mine, containing nothing but guilt and sympathy. I shied away from it. "Maybe you were right. Maybe Jacob was always better for me," sucking in a deep breath I continued with my sentence. "I'm going to tell Jacob I think we should give things another try."

"Bells, are you sure? Don't you think that's a bit fast? I know you still love Edw-" I raised my hand.

"Edward is not coming back. If I don't get with Jacob soon, I'm worried he may leave me too. I couldn't handle being left by both of them. I know its a bit fast, but I need Jacob in my life. It's not like Edward and I ever had anything." I whispered the last part. Oh how I wish we had.

"I just want you to be happy Bella." I smiled weakly as I wrapped my arms around Charlie.

"Thank you dad." I whispered against his shoulder. I couldn't help but think. _Will I ever be properly happy without Edward? _

**Author Note : All the previous chapters have been edited! Hopefully I have found all the silly mistakes! :D **

**I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has reviewed and stuck with this story. I know I took waay too long to update and I am very sorry about that! School is so hectic at the moment, with teachers reminding us our final exams are in less then 60 days, and all the prefect stuff I have to do and last week was rock challenge. Okay, not going to list everything because I would be here all day! Lol. **

**Can I also just say to the few people that have left PM's to tell me how rubbish this story is and that I am a total let down for leaving it too long, please give me a break! This is my second fan fiction so I am still trying to get the hang of it, and I am only 15! But I do appreciate reviews that let me know how to improve the stories as they help a lot. Oh, and if you see any mistakes, please point them out, like if I accidently say trousers instead of pants, just point it out to me please. :) **

**Okay, think that is all I had to say... If any of this story is confusing you, just leave a review or a PM and I will explain! As always, please review! They inspire me! If I get more then last ****time I promise not to take too long to update! :) **


	11. Chapter 10 : Bottom Of The Ocean

**Author Note : Sorry if you are bored with the flashbacks! This should be the last one. :) You gotta love an Edward chapter though! :) **

_Miley Cyrus-Bottom Of The Ocean_

_I have to know why I had to lose you_

_Now you've just become_

_like everything I'll never find again_

_at the bottom of the ocean. _

_**EPOV**_

_A month ago ~ The night before going to Bella's house. _

Alice had gone to bed an hour ago now. I should be tired, but I wasn't. I had been pacing in my room for a while now. What if this all went wrong? What if something happened that meant Bella and I couldn't be together? Could I be selfish enough to hope that she would never move on? No. If anything ever happened to me, or to separate us, I would want Bella to be happy. Even if that meant me not being in the picture. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the pad of paper on my desk. An idea popped into my head, causing me to stop pacing. I chewed on the inside of my mouth. Could I really-? Yes, for Bella's sake I could.

I crossed my room and collapsed on my chair. Clicking the lamp on I grabbed the pen next to the pad. _Come on, Edward, you can do this. This is only a precaution. _With that thought in my head I began writing.

_Bella, I love you. There, I said it! I love you so much and I w- _I stopped there, tearing out the piece of paper. I can't tell her that! I would have to lie. I began writing again, gritting my teeth as I did.

_Bella, _

_If you are reading this then that means something has happened to separate us. I don't know what that could be and I don't know if we were even together but there is something I knew. That you feel something for me. Did you know Alice told me that you loved me? Don't be angry at her she was only trying to help. But Bella please do something for me. Move on. Forget about me and move on._

_I don't want you to waste your life thinking about me. I'm not worth that Bella. I guess we were never meant to be together. We were only meant to be good friends and nothing more. I'm not going to say you were nothing to me. But I love you as a friend Bella. Nothing more. Like Charlie had said, you deserve someone better then me. _

_Move on Bella. Give your love to someone else. Don't waste your time over me, I can move on so I want you to as well. _

_Edward. _

I swallowed hard as I put the pen down. Why am I even doing this? What could possibly happen that would mean I would have to give Bella this? I groaned as I ran my hands through my hair. I gulped. Could tomorrow be the best day of my life? Or could it be my worst? Pulling open the draw underneath my desk, I whipped out a envelope. I folded the deadly letter and placed it in side. Picking up the pen once more I wrote _To my dearest Bella_ on the front. I couldn't help but feel that I was sealing away my heart if Bella were to ever read this as I sealed the envelope. All I could do was pray that I would never have to use this.

**I know, I am a massive let down for giving you a pathetic chapter! I promise that the next chapter will be a good one! :D I don't even mind if you don't review because this is so short! Lol! **


	12. Chapter 11 : One More Sad Song

**Authors Note : I'm back!! Not for long though. Lol. I have an Easter break so I have to revise for my exams and do all my art for my exams that start in a month! Also, good luck to everyone who is starting their exams too!**

Chapter 11 ~ One More Sad Song

The All American Rejects ~ One More Sad Song

One boy, on girl

Two hearts, their world

Time goes by, secrets rise

**APOV**

I really wish that I hadn't come up with the idea of Edward, Bella and I taking a gap year. We had graduated from Forks High School a few months ago and to be honest, I needed a break, I didn't want to go into another couple of years of education straight away. I told Edward and Bella how I felt and they agreed with me and said they wanted that break too. Now I just wish I had learnt how to keep my big mouth shut. I know that even if we had all been in college Edward would still have left, yet I would have been able to see Bella because we always said the three of us would got Dartmouth. Where Em, Rose and Jazz are now.

I wanted so badly to go see Bella, to drag my butt round to hers and beg for forgiveness. I bet she hates me right now. I know I am not being fair to her, by just completely ditching her just because my brother told me to, but I couldn't do that to Edward. Or her for that matter. If I didn't keep my promise to Edward, I would be a lousy sister. If I keep on ignoring Bella then I am being a lousy friend too. But I would be a lousy friend if I interrupted her happiness wouldn't I? I groaned, letting my head fall into my cupped hands.

Edward and Bella were supposed to be together. They always were. It was like, destiny! I even had their wedding planned out! I had planned it out when we were 14. I don't know why, but I guess I just had this strong feeling that they would end up together. Now look at them. Bella's getting friggin' married and Edwards disappeared somewhere probably feeling sorry for his stupid ass. I still didn't know what happened that day.

Mom and dad haven't been the same since that day either. Not only have they lost their son but they have lost Bella, someone who they treated and regarded as their daughter. This whole thing was screwed up. The door bell echoed around me. I looked up, startled by the noise. Jumping down from the sofa I strolled to the door, confused by who would it would be. No one had for weeks. I pulled down the latch and opened the door. My hand flew up to my mouth as the air rushed out of my body. I looked over the frame that was stood before me. A grin spread across my face as I flew at the figure, hugging them tight to me. "I am so glad to see you!" I squealed. Bella wriggled and I took that as a sign to let go. I stepped back, worried that I may have offended her but a small smile was playing on her lips.

"I was starting to think you had left with Edward." She said, her face showed she was joking but her voice held a hint of hurt. I hadn't spoken to her for over a month since she had let me know she was getting married. I couldn't bring myself to text her back then. I looked at Bella closely, wanting to see if she was okay. I know Edward's departure really had hurt her. To anyone who didn't know Bella as well as I did would believe she was fine, that she was happy. Its not till you look closer would you realise that he was far from fine. She had lost a bit of weight, her eyes were hiding beneath the shadows that consumed most of her face, her hair was flat, and the blush that normally constantly coloured her cheeks had disappeared. She wasn't fine, but she was coping. The only thing that was letting me know she was coping was the tiny light she held in her eyes. I was suddenly grateful that whilst I was being a cow and ignoring her, at least she had Jacob. I never thought those words would enter my head. Bella looked around her, staring all around my house. I raised my eyebrow until I noticed her gaze fall behind me. Her eyes watered and her lip puckered before she sucked in a shaky breath.

Confused, I looked over my shoulder. In direct view from the front door was Edward's piano which was sitting in the living room, untouched since Edward had left. It saddened me that the beautiful instrument was now unused. Would it upset Bella that it was unused too?

I turned back to Bella, her face now free of emotion. She looked like a robot. Ah, didn't I feel stupid now? It hadn't clicked inside my head why the piano would hurt her, now it was painfully obvious. It was Edward's. I opened my mouth to say something, but was suddenly unsure what I could say. Bella slipped her hand into her front pant pocket, pulling out a white envelope. Written in neat was _the Cullen family._ Bella handed it to me before turned and running down the steps.

"Bella!" I called out, raising my arm. Looking down at the envelope, I flipped it over, quickly ripping it open. Pulling out the letter, I opened as quick as I could, scanning the letter. Certain words popped up at me. _Wedding. Jacob Black. Isabella Marie Swan. 3rd__ April.. _My eyes widened. Bella was marrying Jacob in a week's time.

I sprinted out of the door, just in time to see Bella pull out of the drive, as the black Mercedes pulled up towards the house. Esme and Carlisle both jumped out of the car. Carlisle walked swiftly over to me as Esme looked longingly at the retreating truck.

"Alice?" Carlisle quizzed as he reached me. I shoved the invite at him.

"Bella is getting married next week." I said as Esme gasped. I spun around, storming towards the house, pulling out my car keys as I headed for the side entrance to the garage. "Alice, where are you going?" Carlisle called out.

"To find Edward, dad." I called back. "Someone needs to sort this mess out."

**Authors Note : Hope you all like this chapter. ****J **

**Reviews mean a lot to me, and as it is my birthday any chance of some reviews?? Pwetty please! **


	13. Chapter 12 : Take Me Away

**Author Note : Normally I would wait at least a week before posting another chapter, but I have just written Chapter 14, and I can't wait for you all to read it! So I am being impatient! Lol. But this chapter is from Edward. :D:D **

Chapter 12 ~ Take Me Away

Avril Lavigne ~ Take Me Away

Of all the pain I thought I knew

All the thoughts lead back to you

Back to what is never said

Back and forth inside my head

I can't handle this confusion

I'm unable, come and take me away

**EPOV.**

How on earth could I have done what I did? I had left Bella's life, vowing to never return, to try and give her the happiness she deserved. Foolish. Stupid. Brainless. Those were the nicest words I could use to describe my actions that day. Why on earth did I walk out of that door that day? I should have stood my ground when she told me to leave. I could have stayed and fought for her. I exhaled. Should haves and could haves were not going to help me now. I grimaced as the pain rippled through me as it did constantly. I rolled onto my side on the dirty grey bed, curling as I tried to form some kind of protection.

My body was still dreary from the lack of sleep. Oh, how I wish I could sleep. I tried, countless times, but they all turned out to be more painful then staying awake. As soon as my eye lids were closed an image of Bella would appear causing unbearable pain to wash through me. Even if sleep had managed to take over me, I would be tortured by visions of her. By the same dream. She would be calling my name, telling me to come to her. I did as told, but as soon as I was in reaching distance, she would fade and I would wake, feeling even more empty inside then before.

I rolled onto my back again, feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket, the fifth time today. I knew it was Alice, she was the only one who had my new number, I just couldn't bring myself to answer it. After each vibration, possibilities would float through my head. What if something was happening to Bella? Could she have moved on already? What if Bella had managed to get my new number? Had she found my note? Had Mom or Dad used Alice's phone to try and make contact with me? Or was it simply just Alice trying to get me to come home again. I couldn't face a single of those possibilities, so I just left my phone to finish its course of vibrations.

I breathed a sigh of relief as the vibrations ceased. I hated ignoring her like this. I knew that each time I did this is it would break her heart even more. I just couldn't deal with an update on everything. I had to lie to myself, pretend that everything would just continue on normally for my family. I knew how much Mom and Dad hated having Em, Rose and Jazz away at college, but at least they had contact. From me they had nothing. But I would block my mind from those thoughts, still pretend to myself that everything would be fine for them. The phone started to vibrate again. _That's strange. _I thought to myself. The last calls were hourly. It was only five minutes after the last one. Hesitantly, I pulled out the phone from my pocket. The display read Alice. "Of course it does," I muttered. I ran a hand through my hair. Could I answer it? It was obvious that Alice needed to get hold of me, she wouldn't bother me this much otherwise. _Man up. _I scolded myself as I pressed the accept button. I resisted the urge to end the call, instead pressing my phone to my ear. "Edward?" Alice's tentative voice rang through. "Hi Alice." I murmured.

"Thank goodness! I thought you were never going to answer the phone! I have been trying to get hold of you for hours. I need to talk to you desperately, where are you? I have been searching through hotels but you weren't in any of them. I need to see you Edward. I have something important to tell you and I don't want to have to tell you over the phone-" "Alice. Take a breath." I interrupted. "You can tell me over the phone Alice." "No I can't, I need to tell you in person-"

"What is it about Alice?" There was a pause. "Alice?"

"Its about Bella." She whispered, in a small voice. I closed my eyes, feeling the pull in my chest at the mention of her name. Sucking in a deep breath I replied. "What about her Alice?" Another pause. "Alice, tell me!" "She is marrying Jacob!" Alice blurted out. I felt like I couldn't breath.

"When?" I wheezed. "Next week." I felt like my world was crashing all around me. "Edward, what are we going to do?"

"Nothing." I muttered.

"Excuse me?" She spluttered.

"We are going to let her be Alice."

"Are you kidding me?!" She said through gritted teeth.

"Do I sound like I am joking?"

"Well you might do nothing but-"

"Leave Bella alone Alice!" I growled.

"No. I am done taking orders from you Edward. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie are coming back on the day of the wedding, We are going to try and talk to Bella. You might think she will be happy with Jacob, but I know for a fact she won't." She sucked in a deep breath. "You didn't see her this morning." She added in a small voice. "She was coping yes, but she wasn't truly happy! If you truly love Bella like you say you do, you would get your ass back here and fight for her."

"Goodbye Alice." I muttered before ending the call, dropping my phone onto the bed. Everything she said hit home. I knew what she said was true. That I should go back and I should fight for her. I should be in my car right now, driving back to win my girls heart. I shouldn't have even left in the first place. Instead I was moping, feeling sorry for myself, licking my wounds. How stupid am I? What did I have to be so flipping dramatic! But could I really burst into her life once again? After leaving her like that, giving her my word that she would never see me again. What if Alice was wrong, what if she could be happy, given time, with Jacob. I grabbed my car keys from the bedside table. I fiddled with the car key. What if she could forgive me? What if she couldn't? Could we be together? Would she even talk to me again? I was running of time. That was for certain. But could I take this risk, could I risk breaking my heart all over again just so there was a chance, a very small chance, that she would forgive me?

**Authors Note: Not a very happy chapter I know, and I am sorry about that, but it had to be done. Could we be on the way for some happiness? Hmm… lets hope, eh?! **

**Hope you all enjoyed this little update. **


	14. Chapter 13 : All I Have

**Author Note : I really don't know what to say about this chapter. It isn't a good one. If you don't like this Bella, then you will hate this update. But she needs to have this little build up before the wedding. So, I'm sorry!!!**

Chapter 13 ~ All I have

The Veronicas ~ All I have

'Cause you're all I have

When the world comes down on me

You're the one I love

And I'm begging you to see

You're all, you're all, you're all I have

BPOV

"You are going to look gorgeous tomorrow, Bella" Emily smiled at me as we stood in front of her large mirror. Emily was Jacob's boss's wife. I was wearing my wedding dress and Emily was taking the final measurements. "Thank you." I smiled back. Angela walked over to stand behind me. I looked at her through the mirror. "You will look gorgeous." She reassured me. I grinned at her before dropping my gaze to the floor, slightly embarrassed at being called gorgeous. "Jake is going to love your dress!" Emily beamed, pulling out a needle and white thread from her bag. She stood again, pulling the back of my dress towards her, stabbing it with the needle.

"Although you need to stop loosing weight, Bella. Just as well we did a final check today, otherwise you would have fallen out of your dress!" She half scolded, half joked. I admit, I hadn't had much of an appetite recently. But I was doing better then before. I was just glad I had Jacob in my life, wasn't I? And tomorrow I would be his wife. Was I happy about that fact? I couldn't answer that. All I knew is I needed him. Selfish yes, but after having so many people I love walk out of my life, I couldn't give him up. Even if that meant marrying him.

"Bella?" Angela called, trying to get my attention.

"Sorry Ang, what did you say?"

"Emily has finished with the dress, she is in the bathroom at the moment, preparing the face masks." She informed me as she unzipped my dress. I let it fall to the floor before stepping out, grabbing my jeans from the floor. I looked up to see Angela staring at me through my reflection. "Bella, you are alright aren't you? You are happy to marrying Jacob?" She questioned, placing her hand on my shoulder. I nodded.

"Of course I am." I said whilst pulling up my jeans. I glanced back at the mirror to see Angela was still studying my face. I yanked my top from the floor, swiftly pulling it over my head. "Bella-" Angela began. Luckily Emily interrupted us as she walked in the room, carrying a bowl of what I could only assume was the face masks. I sighed with relief, collapsing onto one of the three chairs Emily had set out for us. I knew Angela wouldn't start that conversation up again whilst Emily was here. Emily placed the big bowl down by her feet before slapping her hands together. "Right, girls," she beamed, "whose ready for some pampering?"

*****

"_Bella" His voice echoed around me. "Bella." I turned around, again and again trying to find where his voice was coming from._

"_Edward?" I called out, my voice no louder then a whisper. I realised then I was surrounded by trees. _

"_I am here, my love." He said, soothingly. _

"_Where?" I squinted, looking in the distance. _

"_Behind you," he whispered. I spun, squinted through the rain that was now gently pouring. Edward stepped through the trees, smiling at me. The rain start to fall harder, soaking me. Edward's hair was now dripping, his light grey shirt now dark grey. His shirt sticking to his chest. _

"_Edward." I whispered, a smile on my face. I ran the rest of the distance to him, his arms opened and I gladly slipped into them. "I missed you." I whispered against his chest. _

"_And I have missed you Bella." He released his grip, and moved back slightly so he could see my face. "I have to tell you something Bella. What you believe, my love, is a lie. Everything you believe is a lie." _

"_Edward, I- I don't understand. What are these lies?" He smiled softly at me. He opened his mouth to say something, but instead shot his head up, looking in the distance behind me. "Edward?" I questioned before turning my head. I could see Jacob slowly walking towards us. I looked closer at him. He held a gun in his hand. I gasped before Edward pulled me behind him. "Edward, no-" His silenced me by raising his hand. The pouring rain was making me shiver uncontrollably. I look across at Jacob. I couldn't see any of him left. His eyes held no sparkle, his face held no smile. "Jake." I whispered, wondering what happened to my friend. He turned his glare to me. _

"_Sorry, Bells. But this has to happen you see." He informed me as he raised the gun, pointing it at Edward. "You can't have your happy ever after with him. You can't have that choice." His eyes stayed on me. "You are the only thing I care about Bella. Don't leave me." Before I could do anything, Edward had leapt forward, making contact with Jacob. They rolled further into the forest, still fighting, disappearing into the trees. I couldn't tell what was happening. "Edward! Jacob!" I screamed, running in the direction they had rolled. A loud bang echoed around me. I screamed, falling to the floor. _

I screamed loudly, awaking with a jolt. My heart was racing in my chest, my breathing erratic. Sucking in deep breaths I tried to calm myself. "It was just a dream, Bella." I whispered to myself. I heard footsteps coming to my room. My door clicked. "Bells," Charlie poked his head in. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah sorry Dad, I didn't mean to wake you."

"Are you sure, Bells?" He questioned before slipping completely into my room. "You have been screaming in your sleep for over a week now." I exhaled, although it was shaky.

"Sorry Charlie," I ran a hand through my hair. "I guess I just have a lot on my mind."

"Oh okay." He said, looking down. I could tell he didn't know what to do now. I could see was contemplating asking me what was on my mind or just leaving me be. I chose the option for him. "Sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to disturb you. Do you mind if I have a shower now though? I'd like to have a wash before Angela and Emily arrive." He nodded. He turned to walk out the door. He stopped, and turned his head to face me.

"You will do whatever makes you happy, won't you Bells?"

"What do you mean Dad?"

"Don't marry Jacob today if he isn't what you truly want. It will only end badly. Renee married me, but she really wanted Phil. It ended in everyone being hurt. So please, don't marry Jacob out of sympathy." He smiled at me before walking out and closing the door behind him.

I sighed before throwing myself back on the bed. I sighed again, this time rolling out of my bed, grabbing my wash bag from underneath my bed. I thought again of Charlie's words earlier. I am doing the thing that makes me happy. Right? Or was I just setting us all up for a big fall?

**Author Note : I know a lot of you hate Bella. I am sorry about that, I hold my hands up! Its my fault. I don't want you to hate her for being 'whiney' or 'dependant'. She will become independent, very soon. Her head is all over the place. Anyway, I will update with the next chapter very soon. :) **


	15. Chapter 14 : See you again

**Author Note : Thank you for the kind reviews I received :)**** They made me smile so much. ****Stephanie VanHouts - Thank you! I can't believe you stayed up till past 1 am just to read my story! I hope you aren't too grumpy! Lol. And a big thank you to rupture de l'aube for giving me the sweetest review I have ever had! **

Chapter 14 ~ See You Again

Miley Cyrus ~ See You Again

The next time we hang out, I will redeem myself

My heart it can't rest 'til then

Ooh, whoa whoa I, I can't wait to see you again

**BPOV**

We had all arrived at the St Johns church. Emily, Angela and I were in a separate little room the church had let us use to get ready. Emily was doing finishing touches to my dress and make up whilst Angela was finishing off my hair. I was in a daze, not quite believing it was happening today. In an hours time I will be Mrs Bella Black. I had been quiet, although Emily put that down to wedding nerves. I just couldn't concentrate. My mind was wondering, thinking about what I truly want, and what would be best. Emily smiled down at me. "Bella, you look gorgeous." Angela voiced her agreements but my mind still drifted off. I couldn't concentrate for more then 30 seconds. I was aware of being taken to stand in front of a mirror. They both smiled at the mirror, but I couldn't focus enough to look at my reflection. A knock came at the door. "Come in," Emily called.

"Emily, do you mind if we talk to Bella for a moment?" Alice's voice rang out. I gasped and spun around. _She came. _I thought, and then for the first time today, I smiled. I then saw Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett behind her. "Sure," Emily said, collecting her make up kit before her and Angela walked out of the room. Alice walked towards me, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett followed, closing the big wooden door behind them. "Alice." I smiled. "I'm glad you came today. Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett. It's so good to see you." They smiled back at me, but it was half-hearted.

"Bella, you look beautiful." Alice commented.

"Thank you," I smiled at her.

"Bella, we need to talk to you." Rosalie said, stepping forward. I couldn't help but laugh. Rosalie was always straight to the point.

"What about?" I quizzed.

"The wedding Bella." Emmett said.

"What about it?"

"Don't do it, Bella." Jasper said. I had always admired the way they had worked as a team.

"But why? It doesn't make much difference, does it?"

"It will make the world of difference." Alice said, placing her tiny hand on my shoulder. "You know we only want to see you with our brother."

"That isn't going to happen is it?"

"Of course it will, you just have to get hold of Edward, just tell him how you fe-" I raised my hand, cutting Rosalie off.

"I can't do that." I whispered.

"Why not!" Emmett questioned.

"Because it will be pointless, that's why. He doesn't love me." I was surprised they had heard me, my voice held no volume.

"Bella, he does love you." Jasper piped in.

"Really? Then why did he write me this?" I asked as I walked over to my bag that was laying by the mirror. I fished out the screwed up piece of paper, handing it to Alice. They huddled around her, reading over her shoulders. As they got further into the letter, their scowls deepened. As they reached the last line, Alice let out a hiss before screwing the paper up and throwing it behind her.

"That idiot!" She growled. "Why would he do such a thing?!"

"How could he?! How could he do that to himself and you." Rosalie hissed. "You wait till I see him. He is getting a kick right in-"

"What do you mean how could he do that to himself?" I asked, confused.

"Bella honey, please tell me you don't believe this." Alice said, walking towards me. "That letter, its all lies."

"No, why would he write that if it was lies?" She closed her eyes.

"Because he is an idiot, Bella." She reopened her eyes, and stared straight into mine. "I don't know what possessed him to write this letter, but I am going to kill him when I find him." She said, shaking her head.

I wanted nothing more then to believe what Alice was saying, but could I really? I wasn't sure. "Oh, please Bella. You have to believe me. He loves you. Truly he does."

"Trust me Bella, he doesn't shut up about you. When he was home you were always the chosen topic of the conversation." Emmett added. Then Edward's words from the dream filled my head. _What you believe, my love, is a lie. Everything you believe is a lie. _Could this be true. Could Edward love me?

The door creaked open and Emily popped her head in. "Sorry to disturb, but you have to take your seats now."

"Okay." Alice whispered. Emily nodded and disappeared again. "Bella, please. If you love Jacob, okay fair enough. Marry him. But if you love Edward, remember, he loves you too. I know it killed him when he found out about the wedding."

"Bella, I know you. I know you would never do something like this unless you weren't positive it is what you want to do. You are a strong, independent women Bella. You don't need Jacob, you have us and we are going to find Edward, I promise you. Don't marry Jacob because that is what is easiest." Rosalie added.

With that, the Cullens disappeared out the door. I turned and walked back to the mirror. Suddenly everything was clearer.

My hair was curled and pinned in a bun on top of my head, only allowing a few locks to fall and caress my face, my dress was beautiful and made my curves more obvious. But it wasn't until I looked at myself properly did I realise that I was actually a mess. My lips were turned down in a grimace, my eyes were blood shot, tears running down my cheeks. I slid down the wall, collapsing to the floor, my head on my knees as the sobs rattled me.

Why was I here? What was I doing? Yesterday the reasons seemed valid, understandable.

Now, they seemed pathetic. The sobs became harder as I thought of the only face I wanted to see now. I lifted my head, checking the clock that hung on the wall in front of me. I had less than a minute. I stood, my attention turning towards the window. I ran over to it, pulling at it, trying to make the stiff window open. But then I stopped dead. What am I doing?! I groaned. I couldn't leave him like this, besides it was too late now. I had screwed up everything. He didn't want me. I breathed in deeply, trying to stop the tears from flowing again.

I walked back to the mirror, I looked worse than before. My hands fluttered uselessly, trying to make myself look decent at least. I gave up with another groan, instead I let my mind drift.

Okay, so I couldn't have the first prize, and I didn't deserve it either. But I could have the really good second prize. I wouldn't be settling for him, if anything it was the other way round. He could do so much better than me. He could have someone who could give him the love he deserved, someone who wouldn't look at him everyday and wish he was someone else.

But he had chosen me, so I could so this for him, couldn't I? A knock came at the door, interrupting my thoughts. It was time. And I was still completely undecided. "Bella?" Charlie called. "It's time."

"Just coming." I called, quickly turned back to the mirror. I wiped the tears from under my eyes, ran a hand through my loose curls and flattened my dress out again. With one final deep breath I turned and walked towards the door. Pulling it open I was greeted by Charlie, who for the first since I had seen him, was wearing a suit. I smiled at him as he offered my the crook of his elbow to hold onto. "Bells, you look beautiful." He whispered in my ear before walking out of the corridor and towards where everyone was seated. We had to stay hidden whilst they made sure everyone had their seats. Angela ran up to me, handing me my bouquet, placing on top of my head my tiara with the attached veil before running to her seat.

I was running out of time to think. I had less then a minute before I had to walk down the aisle. I didn't know what to do. Could I take the safe option? Or could I take the risk? Could I walk out of here, then search for Edward? Would I even be able to find him? The entrance music echoed around. I was dazed again. All I was aware of was Charlie walking with me up the aisle. I looked around me. On my left were the people from La Push, on the right were my school friends and I caught the Cullens staring at me. I felt like I had to choose these sides. I could marry Jacob and be part of La Push. Or I could walk out of here now, find Edward and be part of the Cullen family. We reached the top, and Charlie released me, before taking his seat at the front. Jacob moved next to me, but I was hardly aware of what was happening. I heard a few words mumbled. Something along the lines of "We are gathered here." But I couldn't focus enough. This was all happening so fast. I just wanted to stop time, to give myself some time to think. Then Jacob grabbed my hand and suddenly everything came back into focus.

"I, Jacob Black, take you, Isabella Marie Swan , to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow." He beamed at me. His long hair was pulled back into a tight pony tail, he was wearing a black suit, with a black shirt and black tie. The adoration in his eyes was too much to bear. I cringed away from it. I suddenly knew what my decision. I pulled off my veil, ripping it free from the tiara. "Jake, I can't do this." I said as gasps echoed around me. "I can't to this myself, to you, and to everyone in here."

"Bella, honey, your just nervous, you don't mean that," He turned back to the priest. "Carry on."

"No, don't carry on!" I shouted at him, throwing my bouquet on the floor. "Jacob listen to me. I can't marry you. I just can't. I don't love you."

"Bells, please don't do this." Jacob pleaded.

"I have to Jacob. I'd rather be by myself then with someone I don't love. I'm sorry."

"Is this about that bastard that walked away from you?" Jacob hissed, grabbing hold of my elbow.

"That bastard, is called Edward and I love him. And at least he didn't cheat on me." I spat back, snatching my arm back. "I am going to find Edward, even if it takes me a year or fifty!" I exclaimed throwing my arms up in the air.

Jacob roughly grabbed my shoulder. His eyes were clouded over, filled with hate. "You do this Bella, and you will regret it." He hissed in my face, too low for anyone else to hear.

I smirked at him. "I only regret one thing Jacob, and that's letting you back into my life." I said back. I was on a sudden high, adrenaline was pumping through me. I spun and started to walk down the aisle. I caught Charlie's eye and he winked at me. I suddenly felt like a huge weight had been lifted. I had been so stupid recently, letting go of the man I loved, giving up on him and then grabbing hold of Jacob just because I was scared. I heard people muttering, now confused by what was happening.

"You go Bella!" I heard Emmett cheer, I turned to see all the Cullens standing up now, and walking out of their seats to join me. "I knew you would come to your senses." Alice whispered as I reached her. She gave me a tight hug before we all started to walk down the aisle. We were half way down the aisle when the large doors were burst open.

A figure stormed into the church. The figure stormed into the church, I squinted trying to get a better look at who it was. The bronze hair caught my eye. My breath caught in my throat. My heart stopped beating. "Edward." I whispered. My heart thudded loudly. I heard Alice mumble behind me, "Perfect timing." I continued towards Edward, and he continued to me.

"Bella, you can't marry Jacob. Please, I love you." Edward began when we met in the middle. "Don'-" I placed my finger on his mouth to silence him.

"I'm not marrying him, my heart belongs with you." I said, before placing my hands on his checks. "I love you Edward Cullen." I whispered as I placed my lips on his.

**Author Note : I hope you guys liked it! Edward is finally back and Bella realised she doesn't need Jacob in her life. Now they will just have to deal with the consequences their actions have left them with. You may have noticed that I added parts of the preface into this. **

**This has been the longest chapter I have done. :) I hope you all like it. The next will answer questions, like how is everyone going to take this? What is Jacob going to do? Etc... **

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, I now have over 100 reviews which is 100 more then I ever expected for this story! :) Oh, and if you believe this story is over... oh think again! :D **


	16. Chapter 15 : Times Like These

**Author Note : First off, Stephanie Orcutt, thank you for such an awesome review, of course I will email you with updates, but unfortunately the email adress did not come up with your review :/ If you want to send it to me again, I will be more then happy to do that for you. :D**

**This update is dedicated to xox-smiley-xox because she is so awesome! :D **

**Oh, and I have some exciting news concerning 'In My Arms' at the bottom so be sure to check that out! This chapter starts a little before Edward bursts into the church! Enough with this lame AN now, and on with the story! **

Chapter 15. ~ Times Like These

Foo Fighters ~ Times Like These

It's times like these you learn to live again

It's times like these you give and give again

It's times like these you learn to love again

It's times like these time and time again

EPOV

I pushed my foot harder on the accelerator. I watched the speed-o-meter pass 80. _Still not fast enough!_ I thought to myself. Alice had text me the details, letting me know where and when the wedding had taken place. As soon as she had, I knew my decision was made. I had chickened out way too many times. There was no way I was going to let this happen without putting up a fight. The dial pushed passed 90. My car could go a lot of faster then that, but I had to keep by speed under 100, I didn't want to tell Bella not to marry Jacob from beyond the grave.

I glanced at the clock on the dashboard. The wedding was due to begin in five minutes. My phone vibrated in my pocket. Keeping one hand on the wheel and my eyes on the road I pulled it out. I slowed down slightly, letting the dial fall back to 70 as I flipped open my phone. One new message from Alice. I pressed 'read' as I kept my eyes on the road. I looked down at my phone quickly, letting my eyes flicker between the message and the road. Luckily I was on a very straight, quiet road.

_We have just talked to Bella. _I glanced at the road. _I can tell she isn't sure. _Road. _I don't think she wants to do this. _Road. _I either hope you get her in time or she comes to her senses. Get here soon, Bella is walking down the aisle. _I closed the phone, slipping it back in my pocket. The wedding had begun. I pressed harder on the accelerator, now letting it pass 100, suddenly not caring about my safety. Alice thinks she wasn't sure. There was hope. I gritted my teeth, I needed to get there. I finally zoomed into forks, going straight through a red light. I internally flinched, waiting for sirens from an officers cruiser to sound. Nothing. I breathed a sigh of relief. I slowed, now having to turn corners on the narrow town roads. _Just one more minute and I will be at the church. _I reasoned with myself, seeing the top of the church come into view behind the many houses.

I turned many corners, zoomed up many roads when the church suddenly came into view. I stomped on my break, the car came to a sudden halt, throwing me forward only to be restrained by my seat belt. I unclipped myself quickly, throwing open the door and running towards the large steps leading to the church doors. I couldn't hear what was happening inside, the large doors kept everything concealed inside. I ran the steps, two at time reaching the top in mere seconds. Without stopping my sprint, I threw myself into the doors. The opened against my weight but the big heavy doors had winded me, causing me to stop.

I looked up, and half way down the aisle stood Bella, surrounded by my family. Everyone was squinting at me, trying to see who it was, apart from Alice, who wore a smile so big I was worried her face might break. I looked back at my beautiful Bella and I started to walk into the church. She walked towards me. I suddenly worried if she was going to hate me, or slap me but decided I would endure any amount of pain Bella would throw at me if it meant she wouldn't marry Jacob. As we met at the middle I gushed out my words. "Bella, you can't marry Jacob. Please, I love you. Don-" Bella placed her finger on my mouth. I looked down into her eyes, seeing nothing but unconditional love. Then her perfect lips said the words I believed I could only dream of.

"I'm not marrying him, my heart belongs with you." She whispered in her beautiful voice before placing her soft hands on my cheeks. "I love you Edward Cullen" Then she placed her lips on mine. My heart jumped and I wrapped my arms around her. Far from the reaction I was expecting, but who am I to complain?! I heard my family sigh. Then Emmett laughed, "Bout time too." We released each other, both turning to face my family with huge grins on our faces.

"You bastard, Cullen!" Jacob roared from the altar. Everyone jumped and turned to face Jacob. We had all forgotten where we were at this precise moment. At Bella's wedding, with her jilted fiancé and his family. Jacob was storming towards us, Emmet jumped in front of Rose, Jasper in front of Alice, Carlisle in front of Esme and I shoved Bella behind me. I heard her protests but I ignored them as I focused on Jacob. He was heading straight for me, I poised myself, as did Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle. I glanced at them, not wanting to involve them. It was my fight, not theirs. Unexpectedly Charlie jumped up from his seat. "Jacob Black, you touch any of them and I will arrest you for assault!" He said, walking after him. Jacob scoffed. "Shut up, you stupid old man!" Jacob growled, now only a few paces away from us. Charlie caught up with Jacob and grabbed his shoulder. "Charlie no!" I called out, knowing what he was capable of. Jacob turned round, his fist pulled back ready to hit Charlie. I leapt from my spot in front of Bella, making contact with Jacob before he could injure Charlie.

We rolled, and I managed to get him underneath me. He swung his arms trying to hit me and get me off him. I heard behind me Esme, Rosalie and Alice urgently telling the guests to leave. I heard shuffling and groans but I ignored them, focusing more on the thrashing Jacob underneath me. "Get off me." He hissed at me. I used all my strength to grab both his arms and pin them on his sides. Emmett and Jasper appeared at my sides. "Got your back, bro." Jasper said as he motioned for me to stand. I jumped up, and Jacob took that opportunity to kick and thrash. Luckily, he missed all of us. He jumped up too, his hands turning into claws, his eyes filled with pure, undiluted hate. Emmett and Jasper jumped forward, each grabbing one of his arms. He thrashed again. "Get off!"

"Not a chance" Emmett said, as they dragged Jacob off and taking him out the church. Jacob thrashed again as they passed the girls, Carlisle and Charlie. He turned to look straight at Bella and hissed, "You are going to pay for this!" Jasper and Emmett quickened their pace, getting him out of the now empty church. I walked up to where everyone was stood, a pair or arms snaked around my waist. "Are you okay?" Bella asked, nothing but concern was on her face. "I am now, my love." I whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Charlie, are you okay?" I asked, looking up.

"I am," he smiled at me, walking towards us. He held out his hand. "Thanks, Edward." He said as I shook his hand. I heard commotion outside, concerned about Jasper and Emmett, we all ran towards the entrance.

Alice wailed as she saw Jasper with blood dripping from his cheek, laying on the floor. Emmett had Jacob pinned to the floor, he look unscathed. Carlisle ran over to Jasper with Alice closely behind. Alice placed his head in her lap, I saw his eyes flutter open and a smile play on his lips.

Esme whimpered from behind me. Her babies and her husband were near an outraged Jacob and she couldn't do anything about it. I heard a low grunt of pain come from Emmett, bringing my attention back to the fight. Jacob had punch Emmett in the gut, but it still appeared Emmett had the upper hand. Rosalie hissed, running forward to protect Emmett, only to be stopped by Esme grabbing her arm. "Rose, no! Emmett wouldn't want you to get involved!" Rose bit down on her lip knowing that Emmett would only hurt himself more trying to protect her. She looked longingly at Emmett, concern in her eyes. Jacob punched Emmett again, Rosalie let out a cry of pain.

"Esme, keep hold of Bella." I commanded, before jumping off the steps and running towards Emmett. I heard a cry of protest escape from Bella. I wanted to go back to Bella, to soothe her, but my brother needed me now. Jacob pushed Emmett off, causing him to roll backward.. Jacob jumped up, and he spun to face me. I crouched, ready to attack, Jacob poised him self, but by this time Emmett had jumped from the ground. He sprang from his place, leaping into Jacob. Jacob flew to the ground, grunting as his head made contact with the floor. All Emmett needed was a distraction for him to gain the upper hand once again/ Emmett rolled Jacob onto his front then pulled Jacobs arms from his to on his back. Then Emmett did something so funny, I couldn't help but laugh. Emmett sat on him. As if Jacob was no more then a fallen log.

I could hear Jacob wheeze his protests, his legs were kicking and thrashing. I walked over to them, grabbing hold of his legs and pinning them to the floor. Jacob wiggled slightly, but it was nothing Emmett and I couldn't handle. Footsteps came from behind me, I looked over my shoulder to see Charlie now behind me. He pulled out a pair of handcuffs from his pant pocket and knelt down beside me. Emmett got up, but still held onto Jacobs arms.

Charlie quickly cuffed Jacob. "Jacob, I am taking you to the station. You are going to be put into a cell until you have calmed down, you are a threat to everyone, including yourself at the moment." He said, authority ringing through his voice. I released my grip on Jacobs legs, satisfied that he would not try anything now that he could not use his arms. Emmett pulled Jacob up from the ground using one arm. Charlie grabbed hold of Jacob, directing him towards his cruiser. "Charlie, I'm going to come with you. In case Jacob tried anything again." Emmett stated. Charlie smiled at him and nodded as the took him towards the car. Jacob looked over his shoulder at me. His eyes were cold. He mouthed the words "I'll get you for this" before he turned back. His words sent a shiver down my spine, but I refused to let them affect me. "Edward!" Bella called from her spot behind Esme. Esme stepped aside, satisfied there was no longer a danger. Bella ran down the steps without falling which was surprising because not only was it Bella but she still had her wedding dress on.

I opened my arms for her and she gladly slipped into them. "He didn't hurt you, did he?" She quizzed looking up at me. "Not a scratch." My gaze travelled to where Jasper and the rest of my family now stood. Guilt washed through me as I noted the cut across his face. He shouldn't have been injured, it was my fight not his. With Bella still hugging onto my side, I walked us over to huddle that was surrounding Jasper. Esme was double checking his face even thought Carlisle was assuring her that he was perfectly fine. She couldn't help but worry, that was typical Esme. Alice was tucked into Jaspers side, reminding me of Bella. Rosalie was staring at he twin, making sure he was alright although I could see in her eyes she would not be satisfied until she had Emmett in her arms. She needed to make sure he was perfectly fine too. They all turned to look at us as we made it to them, smiles radiating from every face, bar one.

"Jasper, I'm sorry man I-" His raised hand silenced me.

"Don't even try to apologize bro."

"Not for that anyway." Rosalie added, glaring at me. Ouch. I knew, although as it seemed Bella had forgiven and forgotten easily, it would be a different story with my family, especially Rose. "I'm sorry." I said, staring straight at her.

"There will be time later for apologies and for us all to talk, right now I'm just glad I have my family back." Esme smiled before wrapping her arms around my neck. I felt four more pairs of arms wrap around me, another reluctant pair joined as well. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of being hugged by my family. _I'll get you for this. _Jacobs words swirled around my head. My eyes flew open. _Its okay, _I reasoned with myself, _he isn't here. _I closed my eyes once again, refusing to let no one, including Jacob Black, ruin this moment.

**Author Note : First about this update and then I will tell you the exciting news! Okay, so as you can see, not everything is perfect yet and they will have to work everything out with their families and between them as well. Like what really happened, why they both did stupid things, etc. I am guessing a lot of you are thinking, 'why didn't Billy or Jacob's family put up a fight?' or 'Jacob should have put up more of a fight' Well that will be answered, my pretties, have faith.**

**I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, I had the original typed up and ready to go then my old computer crashed. So I had to start all over, maybe it turned out better, maybe it turned out worse, who knows! **

**Okay, exciting news! I just received an email from Cyartia who just told me 'In My Arms' has been nominated for the category "The Fic With All The Drama!" in the contest "You're Never To Young To Write". I can't believe this! It is so amazing! :D So if you want to vote for me, the voting begins on the 1****st**** May and you can find out more information through this link .net/u/1620875/ Again, I am amazed! :D **

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed and continues to read this story. I love you all! :D **

**x**


	17. Chapter 16 : Hold On

**Authors Note : Happy Birthday Rob! :P**

Thank you so much for all your kind reviews, I love receiving every single one! :D I am sorry for the long delay! I'd like to say it won't happen again but… Read on my pretties! (:

Chapter 16 ~ Hold On

_Hold On ~ Good Charlotte_

_But we all bleed the same way as you do_

_We all have the same things to go thru_

_Hold on...if you feel like letting go_

_Hold on...it gets better than you know_

EPOV

We had all gathered at the large dining room table, Carlisle was on my left, then was Esme who had her arm wrapped around him, Alice was twiddling with a lock of Jaspers hair as he stared straight into her eyes. Next to them Rosalie was running her hand up and down Emmett's bicep, whilst he would run his left hand across her cheek and on my right Bella was sketching patterns with her finger on my palm. We were all content now, in our own little bubbles, all though we all knew the conversation about my departure, Bella's behaviour and how our family were in pieces loomed.

When we had all arrived home, I couldn't help but stand in awe in front of the large white house. I hadn't thought I would see that place again. It hit me again how stupid I had been to leave. I should have known I would never have been able to stay away, I just caused so many people unnecessary heart ache. My chest had tightened once again as the thought of the pain I had caused my family had swam through my head. Bella had wrapped her arm around me before whispering in my ear, "Its okay. You're here now." I'd looked down at her, staring into her deep brown eyes, regret bubbled inside of me. Even if I lived till one hundred, I'd knew I would never understand why I left. I'd wrapped my arm around her waist, the white silk of her dress had felt smooth against my skin. Her white wedding dress. A reminder on how close I had come to loosing her. I'd looked once again into Bella's beautiful eyes only to find my feelings mirrored. Love, happiness, but most of all, regret. I'd internally sighed. We had a lot to discuss. I had opened my mouth to voice this thought but Alice appeared behind Bella, taken hold of her free hand and tugged her towards the house.

Alice had dragged Bella off into her room, glad to have to opportunity to give Bella an outfit she'd probably never wear again. I had followed them into the house and stood on the stairs suddenly not sure what to do with myself. I'd felt out of place. From my spot on the stairs, I'd heard Alice mutter something about how plain the wedding dress was, about how she would never have stepped near that dress if she were involved. I had imagined Bella shuddering at the thought of the outrageous dress Alice would have made her wear. I'd imagined Bella wearing an old fashioned white dress, then suddenly I had been sucked into a fantasy. Bella was staring at me in the dress I had imaged, her beautiful hair flowing, rose petals were laying on the floor around her. Music had then begun to float around me. A veil was placed over Bella's face and she'd started to walk towards me, down the aisle and to become my wife. The fantasy had made my heart flutter.

I had walked up the remaining stairs, stopping outside Carlisle's office, the door was ajar. I'd peeked through the small gap. Jasper was sat on the sofa with Carlisle knelt in front of him, his medical bag was placed next to Jasper on the black sofa. Carlisle was dabbing a cleansing wipe on the cut causing Jasper to wince. Throwing the bloody wipe in the bin behind him, Carlisle searched through his bag, pulling out a single large band-aid. "Your cut is clean now, son. Luckily it wasn't deep enough to need stitches. I will want to check this again tomorrow to make sure it is still clean." He'd informed Jasper as he placed it over the cut, gently running his hand over it to make sure it had stuck properly. "Thanks." Jasper smiled at him. I'd felt guilty for Jasper to have suffered that cut. He shouldn't have received it, I should have. Although, I known that thought was pointless. Jasper, and Emmett for that matter, would never sit back and watch me fight when they could help me. Like I couldn't watch them fight without intervening.

I'd heard the front door open, followed by a loud shout from Emmett, letting everyone know he was now home. I'd turned and descended the stairs, eager to see my brother. I had finally made it down the stairs in time to see Rosalie blur past me, jumping on Emmett, almost knocking him over in the process. She had pulled back, her eyes travelling over his body. "Its okay Rose, not a scratch on me." He had said proudly. She pounced on him again, this time pressing her lips fiercely to his, emitting a chuckle from Emmett. I'd felt rude imposing on their moment so I had turned to walk back up the stairs, deciding to see if Alice was done torturing Bella. I was stunned when my gaze met an angel on the top step. Bella's hair was unpinned now, flowing around her face. She was no longer in her wedding dress but in a tight fitting dark blue blouse, black jeans and with blue stilettos. I felt my jaw slacken as Bella started to walk down the stairs. Her beauty astounded me. Even after all these years is still shocked me.

"Put your tongue away." Emmett chuckled from behind me." I immediately closed and locked my jaw, refusing to let it fall again as I'd felt heat lick at me ears. Embarrassed, I watched her steps as she walked. Alice had put death traps on her feet. They were at least four inches high. Although I liked them on my Bella, I knew for someone with her balance, putting four inches of added height onto her feet would not be a good idea. I'd kept my eyes trained on her feet, looking for any sign of a loss of balance. Amazingly, she made down in one piece. I'd squashed the small part of me that had been disappointed in not being able to catch her if she'd fell.

I had closed the remaining distance between us in two long strides. I'd taken her hand in mine before pulling her close to me. She'd snuggled close and it felt like the outside world seized to exist. I'd buried my face into her soft brown locks, inhaling the intoxicating aroma of strawberries and a hint of freesia. I had felt like a drug addict, getting their next fix as I greedily breathed in her scent. Bella chuckled although it was muffled by my shirt. The heat had crept to my ears again. She'd realised what I was doing. I hadn't known what to say, what would she think if I told her that I had been addicted to her smell for as long as I could remember? "Its okay, Edward. I like it." She sighed happily against my chest, answering my unasked question. I had exhaled, relieved.

"Edward?" Carlisle had spoken from behind me. I'd jumped slightly, not realising anyone was near. "We need you two to join us." He'd motioned to where the rest were heading. I'd realised they were heading towards the dining room. I'd turned to Carlisle, a question in my eyes. When I had met his, I'd knew my question had been answered. The conversation I had been dreading had reared its ugly head. Reluctantly I'd nodded at Carlisle before gently pulling Bella with me in the direction of the dining room.

Carlisle coughed to signal that he required our attention. We all turned towards him. I could see he was contemplating how he could start this conversation, his lips twitched and his eyes darted around the room. It was strange to see Carlilse so uncomfortable. He was so used to taking charge, to find solutions, yet this time he seemed, almost reluctant to start this conversation. As I watched him struggle, I decided to intervene. "Dad, can I start please?"

"By all means." He nodded, his blue eyes staring into mine. I ran a hand throw my hair, looking around at all the faces now staring at me, saving the best one for last. Bella smiled at me reassuringly. I gulped and sucked in a shaky breath. I didn't have a clue where to start. I wanted to say so many things at once, but I couldn't seem to order my thoughts. I wanted time to figure out my speech, to order everything and make sure I didn't forget anything. My eyes swept once again at the faces before me. I didn't have time so I decided to go for the first thing I had to say.

"I'm sorry," I began my voice was small as I looked at the table. I heard a scoff come from someone. I looked up to see Emmett turn to frown at Rosalie, but she didn't see it, she was too busy staring at me. Or was glaring the right word? Not that I didn't deserve it. I did deserve a hard time. I deserved to beg and grovel for them to even talk to me, let alone actually forgive me. I sucked in a deep breath.

"I am truly sorry." I said again placing my hand on the table, this time my voice was louder and I looked into every single pair of eyes around this table. "I am very sorry for leaving like that. It was the stupidest thing I had ever done and I regret every second of it, I know I will regret it for a very long time. I don't know what possessed me to do it. I can't believe I left you all. I promise to make it up to you. I caused everyone heart ache and all I can hope now is that you will all forgive me, given time."

"I already forgive you, honey, just- just if next time- if there is a next time, think okay? Don't act on impulse. Come home, talk to us, think about it." She paused before adding, "You ever leave my like that again and I will make you regret ever being born" Esme smiled at me although I new the threat in her words was serious. Again, regret filled me. Esme didn't deserve to be treated like that, to be left like that, without warning. She did nothing but care for everyone and everything and I just repay her by leaving. Esme reached across the table and placed her hand ontop of mine, her thumb rubbed across the top of my hand. "Don't blame yourself." She whispered sweetly. "Love can make you do some crazy things." I smiled back at her.

"Thanks mom." I breathed. She winked back as she released my hand.

I noticed Carlisle move in his seat slightly, I turned to him, opening my mouth as I readied myself to beg forgiveness. As if he could read my mind, he held his hand up, signalling me to remain quiet.

"Edward, son, you know that no matter what you do, I will always forgive you. Just please, next time, don't run off like that? Like your mother said we can talk, sort it out. I know some things can't be solved that easily but we will find the best solution for everyone. We will always help you through no matter what. Don't forget that." His blue eyes bored into mine. Showing me the truth in his words. They truly would help me with anything, no matter what it was. It hit me again how much of a fool I was for leaving, for leaving such wonderful parents, parents who care so much. It doesn't matter that they have forgiven me, I will do what ever I must to redeem myself. "Thank you so much." I said sincerely, my voice shaky from the emotion that was choking me.

Bella squeezed my hand, my gaze travelled down to hers. She smiled reassuringly at me. I smiled back at her before turning my attention back to the people around the table. I looked at all four of my siblings. "I promise to make it up to you. To all of you." My eyes flickered to my parents as the last words left my mouth. "No matter how long it takes me to gain your trust, no matter how hard it is to gain your forgiveness, I will keep trying. I shouldn't have ran away and I am incredibly sorry and I will always regret what I did." Emmett was the first to speak.

"I have already forgiven you, dude. I'm not sure I can understand what made you leave because although I have heard the story I haven't been in the position. Just, I don't think I will be able to understand why you left. You know we would have helped you no matter what. We-" He paused as his eyes flickered to Rosalie. "I would have come back and helped you in anyway I can. Even if space was what you needed, you shouldn't have left like that without telling anyone where you went. Anything could have happened to you."

"I'm so sorry." I whispered in a small voice. Emmett nodded.

"I know you are, I know. I forgive you Edward. Just don't do it again, okay?" He grinned at me, I couldn't help but grin back although I was drowning in my guilt. For the hundredth time today I cursed myself for being stupid enough to leave. My eyes travelled to Rosalie. I was sure she wouldn't forgive me. Emmett noticed my gaze and decided to help me. "Rose, baby." Emmett put his arm around her. "Come on, forgive the boy poor." He pressed his lips to her cheek.

"Why?" She said, still staring at me.

"Rose come on. Don't you think he has been through enough already?" Rosalie scoffed. Emmett sighed before leaning close to her ear. He started to whisper something which was too low for me to hear. Whatever he said caused a delicate pink blush to paint her cheeks and her mouth had fallen open into the shape of an 'o'. I suddenly realised that I didn't want to know what he said. She giggled as Emmett leaned back into his seat. A few seconds passed before he turned to looked her expectedly. When she didn't say anything, he coughed obviously signalling for her to speak. She huffed loudly before turning back to me.

"Edward, I forgive you. But if your so melodramatic again, I will castrate you, okay?" She spoke harshly although her words earned a chuckle from Emmett and a gasp from Esme, who no doubt would have scolded her in different circumstances. "That's my girl." Emmett laughed as he pressed his lips to her temple.

"Thank you." I said sincerely, knowing it must have taken a lot for her to forgive me. Or at least say she had forgiven me. I doubted very much that she had forgiven me, yet it was a start. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jasper looking in my direction. I hesitated before turning my attention to him.

"Jasper. I am sorry. You shouldn't have got hurt."

"No one should have." His eyes flickered to Alice and back to me. "You shouldn't have left, Edward. Out of all the things you could have done, leaving should have been on the bottom of the list." I suppressed a smile. Finally, someone was making it difficult for me. I didn't deserve to be forgiven so easily. "It was selfish Edward. You hurt everyone and considering you are here now with Bella, it was obviously pointless." Esme opened her mouth but I held my hand up to silence her. I knew she would just try and defend me.

"I agree with you Jasper. It was pointless of me to leave. I shouldn't have. If I could take it back I would in a heart beat. It was a cowardly thing to do and I all can hope is that one day I will earn your respect again." Jasper's face softened.

"You earned my respect when you walked through the church doors, Edward. You can back after everything to fight for your girl." He smiled but it was short lived. "I just can't forgive you yet. You hurt my girl and it will just take time." I nodded, fully understanding why he couldn't. "Thank you, Jasper. That is more then I deserve." Beside me, Bella slowly raised out of her chair, releasing my hand. Confused, I raised an eyebrow, but she missed it as she looked at all the other curious faces. "Bella?" Raising a hand to cut me off, she started to speak.

"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I don't even understand myself why I ran into the arms of Jacob. I don't know why I gave up without a fight. Why I had let go of such an amazing family." She paused and drew in a breath, then she turned to look at me, her eyes brimming with tears. "I don't know why I told you to leave. It was the single most stupid thing I had ever done and if I could take it back I would. You are the most important thing to me, Edward. I can't believe I almost had chosen Jacob over you. I'm sorry." She said, before sinking back into her chair. I gripped her hand. "I shouldn't have left so easily, Bella." I whispered into her hair. "I love you, Bella." Bella opened her mouth about to whisper something back when Alice's voice cut her off.

"Can I have a moment alone with you?" She asked me. My brow knitted together, confusion sweeping across my face.

"Alice?"

"Edward, please. I want to talk to you alone, okay?" She added, harshly. I felt my body go into lock down mode, sensing an attack. I hadn't asked her if she had forgiven me. I had expected because that was Alice. She could not hold a grudge. But I had asked so much of her, it would be more then understandable. I internally scolded myself for expecting her to have forgiven me.

The rest of the family, included Bella stood up, they knew Alice was serious. Bella placed a kiss on top of my head before leaving. Carlisle patted my shoulder and Esme wrapped me in a tight hug. Emmett punched my shoulder and Jasper placed his hand on my back before whispering "Good luck," then Rosalie smiled at me. It was more then I expected from her. I smiled back and then they left, leaving me alone with Alice. I turned back, sucking in a deep breath and looked at her.

"Alice?" I whispered, scared about what she will say.

"How could you?" She whispered back. I looked down at my lap.

"I don't know, Alice. I don't know."

"Do you have any idea what you put this family through, what you put me through?" I nodded, shifting in my seat uncomfortably. "No, you couldn't possibly know, you weren't here." Her voice cracked. My head shot up in time to see Alice wipe a tear from her cheek. "Edward, how could you have asked such things of me? For you to leave is bad enough, but for you to make me promise not to see my best friend, to tell mom and dad that you were leaving and then to have to have to keep your new number a secret. It was torture" Her head fell forward and her shoulders slumped. I had never seen her look so weak. I flew around the table, kneeling at her feet. I took her small hands in mine. "Never, ever ask anything like that of me again. It was horrible, Edward. I have never seen Mom or Dad that upset. You were gone for weeks! We didn't know where you were. You- you hurt everyone."

"Alice, look at me, please." She did so, reluctantly. "I am so sorry. I regret hurting everyone so much. I regret hurting _you_ so much. I will always regret telling you to do those things, please believe me. I will make this up to you, Alice. I promise you that." She smiled at me, half-heartedly. "I am so sorry, Alice. I love you." I pulled her into a hug. I felt her stiffen momentarily before she wrapped her arms around my back. Yes, I had a lot of work to do before everything was perfect. But after everything, I would do what I could to make it up to everyone. "I will make it up to you, to all of you." I whispered into her black spiky hair.

**Authors Note : Please read. Okay, updates will take a while as I am in the middle of doing my exams so sorry about that. I will try to update often but I can't guarantee anything. Oh and a massive well done to xox-smiley-xox who got an A for her French speaking! :P **

**Do you remember that in my last Author Note I told you that 'In My Arms' was nominated for the fic with all the drama in the your never too young to write contest? Well I have to link for you all **

http://twilightedteensblog[dot]blogspot[dot]com/

**If you all like this story and think it deserves this award then please follow the link and vote for it (: The voting starts very soon and I will probably post to remind you all! I am up against some serious competition, so I don't expect to win but to have a few votes would be nice! (:**

**Thank you so much to everyone who is reading this story, and who has reviewed, it means so much to me to think some people actually like my writing! (: Any questions, please ask! **

**Much love x**


	18. Chapter 17 : Weight Of The World

_Blue October - Weight of the World_

_When the weight of all the world's gone wrong.  
It's gone wrong again.  
Gone fucking wrong.  
It's gone wrong again.  
_

BPOV

I stood and watched from the doorway as Edward comforted his sister. A pang of guilt hit me as I couldn't help but feel at fault for this. I closed my eyes as I leaned my head on the door frame. I cursed inwardly once again at my stupidity. _All your fault. He wouldn't have left if it wasn't for you. _I bit down on my lip. A battle was beginning inside of me. _Stop wallowing. You can't change the past. Make up for lost time. _A small part of me shouted out. A warm hand was placed on my cheek, interrupting the mental battle that was taking place. I opened my eyes to find a pair of startling green eyes staring back. I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. I felt his chin rest on the top of my head.. "I can't believe how close I came to loosing you." I whispered into his chest. "I am so sorry, for everything Edward. I love you, so much." "Bella, don't apologize. Y-"

"Don't Edward. Don't take all the blame. You are my everything and I could have lost you. I could have thrown everything away! I was _so_ stupid!" I paused to take a deep breath. Edward released me, crouching so that we were eye level. He smiled at me.

"I think it is fair to say, we were both stupid. We both did stupid things. We both made mistakes but that is in the past. The important thing is that we are together now. I love you so much my sweet Isabella." No words could describe what I was feeling right now, so instead I pressed my lips fiercely to his. He froze for less then a second before kissing me back. His tongue swept over my bottom lip, wanting to gain entrance. My lips parted, allowing him what he wanted. My eyes shot open as I heard a giggle. I looked over Edward's shoulder to see Alice smiling brightly. Edward reluctantly released his hold that he had just made on my lip, instead pulling me into his side. He spun us gently so we were now facing Alice.

Alice's eyes darted between mine and Edward's before she walked over to Edward's free side. She motioned that she wanted him to crouch. Confused, he complied. She leaned in and cupped her hand around his ear and her mouth. I heard a few noises, but they were two low for me to make out the words. After a few seconds Edward's jaw slackened and his eyes became the size of saucepans. I suddenly became very curious, wondering what could have shocked Edward that much. Before I could voice my curiosity however, Edward turned towards me. "Bella love, would you mind if I talk to Alice privately?" I nodded before placing a kiss on his cheek. As I turned and walked out, I heard hushed whispers coming from behind me. I could distinguish which person was making which whisper, although I could not make out the words. But from Edward's almost frantic and exasperated tone I decided I didn't want to know. Besides, it was not for me to hear.

Turning the corner I slipped into the empty living room. In all the times that I had visited this house, I had never stopped to take it in all the details. I felt like it was familiar, yet strange at the same time. The room was light, due to the gray light that was filtering through the glass wall that was facing me. On my right was the family computer. A smile spread across my face as I saw the two framed pictures placed either side of the monitor. On the left was a picture of Carlisle and Esme, the other was their children, Rosalie and Jasper included. I estimated that Alice and Edward were twelve and Rosalie, Emmet and Jasper were thirteen when this picture had taken place. I smiled again before moving on. On the left side of me was a white couch which was facing the glass wall. Its back was pressed against the wall. I noticed other pictures were also hanging above it. Curious, I walked across the room towards them. I hadn't noticed these pictures before, they must have been put up was a large frame surrounded by six evenly spaced smaller frames. A small gasp escaped from me as I looked at the larger frame. Instead of seeing seven people, there were eight. The Cullens, and…me. I remember when that picture had taken place. It was at Alice's and Edward's sixteenth birthday party. Esme had booked a professional photographer and she wanted a family picture. They had gathered in front of a white screen as I watched. Edward had protested, saying he wouldn't have the picture done unless I was in it with them. I had argued saying that I didn't want to impose. He scoffed and responded by saying that I was part of the family and it was only right for me to be in the picture. I had smiled as he had taken hold of my hand and pulled me over to his family. As I looked closer at the photo, I noticed Esme's eyes. Unlike everyone else, she wasn't looking at the camera. Her glowing eyes were looking down at me in Edward. Her face radiated her pride.

I intended on walking around the outskirts of the room, looking at all various sized frames scattered around, but I changed my path when something from the very far corner caught my eye. I crossed the room, my eyes trained on the black grand piano.

As I reached it, my fingers ghosted along the keys as I sat down on the cushioned black bench. I hadn't heard Edward play for while, I craved those Sunday afternoons when Edward would play me a song that he had just taught himself. Esme had always told him he could go far, even suggesting finding him a tutor. He had such a talent that was evident even when we were very young. He had turned down the idea however, saying he just played for enjoyment purposes only. I lifted my hand, placing it down on the appropriate keys. As my left hand played the chord pattern, my right hand was now playing a small melody along side it. Edward had taught me chords a long time ago, he had also told me that he didn't believe playing a good song was only possible for people with masterful skills. He said songs that come from deep within you can only truly be great. He had showed me the best notes to go with the different chords and I had listened intently, mesmerised by the whole thing. Playing was always such a special thing for Edward. I remember how he has always played a song for his new girlfriends. I pressed a few more keys before stopping and letting out a sigh. "What's wrong, Bella?" Edward asked from behind me. I jumped up, spinning to face him as my hand flew up to my chest, knocking the bench over in the process.

"Gosh Edward! Are you trying to kill me?!" I exclaimed as I tried to regain my breath. He laughed as he stepped closer, picking up the bench and placing it back under the piano.

"I am sorry." He whispered as he smiled down at me. His crooked smile momentarily rendered me breathless before I noticed his eyes, they were unfocused. He was thinking about something.

"Edward, what did Alice say to you?" I quizzed, he was obviously thinking about what ever it was quite deeply. His eyes focused before he spoke.

"Oh, nothing of importance my love. She just told me how I could make up leaving to her."

"You are telling me the whole truth aren't you?" He lifted on of his eyebrows, indicating that I should explain myself further. "It's just you looked like you were thinking about something, it was like you weren't completely in the room."

He ran a hand through his hair before he spoke. "Alice's proposition was a bit…intense, considering we have only just got together." I closed the remaining distance between us, wrapping my arms around him. I lifted my chin so I could still see his face.

"Are you going to tell what she proposed?" His lips twitched, although I wasn't sure why.

"In time, Bella." He informed me as he cupped my cheek. I frowned, slight confused, before nodding. I didn't understand why Edward couldn't tell me now, but I wasn't going to push him. It was obvious that he wouldn't tell me no matter how much I asked, he wasn't going to let me know, not until he was ready. "So, are you going to tell what was wrong?" I bit down my lip, considering trying to change the subject, but I knew it would be pointless, he would find a way to make me tell him. It would save us both time and effort if I just told him.

"I was just thinking about your piano." I felt my cheeks beginning to heat up. "And how you would play a song for your girlfriends, one that you thought represented them…"

"And you were hoping I would play you a song?" Edward finished my sentence. I nodded, blushing furiously, my gaze falling to the floor. I regretting telling him, once the words left my mouth I realised just how stupid I sounded. I really wanted to hit my head against the piano repeatedly. I had just jilted Jacob this morning, and now I wanted Edward to play me a song, something which was quite intimate. Something which I knew from what he would tell me he would do when he and his girlfriend had been together for a while. My thoughts then became frantic as my insecurities raised to the surface. What if he I had hurt him too much? What if he still wasn't sure? I had never wished more then this moment that I could rewind the clock and instead of telling Edward to leave, to pounce on him and claim him as my own.

"If you don't want to I understand, I don't want you to think you have to or anything, and we have only been together a matter of hours, I probably shouldn't have asked, just pretend I didn't say anything." I stopped to take a breath from my sudden case of verbal diarrhoea, I looked up to see Edward staring at me, his eye brows raised. "What?" I asked, suddenly feeling incredibly self-conscious.

"Bella, we may have only been officially dating for a few hours, but do you not agree that it feels like longer. I feel like we were made for each other. I wonder if that is why my other relationships failed, that they weren't you, and no one could ever measure up to you. That is why I won't play you a song like I did for all my other girlfriends." My breath caught in my throat. My pursed my lips as I mulled this thought over in my head. Edward's finger traced over my bottom lip causing my eyes to flicker to his. "I won't play you a song that I think represents you Bella, no that simply isn't good enough. I would like very much to play you the song that I have written for you." My mouth fell open and my eyes widened, it must have been a comical look because it caused Edward to chuckle.

"Y-you wrote a so-song for me?" I stammered, completely shocked. I had hoped so much that he would have a song that reminded him of me, that he would play a song specially for me, but I never in a million years would I have thought he would write me a song.

"Would you like to hear it?" I nodded quickly. He pulled out the bench and sat on the left, patting the seat on the right. I sat down and he turned his head to me. "I have been working on this song for quite some time now. I hope you like it." His fingers proceeded to flow swiftly on the ivory keys, filling the room with a melody that was unbelievably complex, beautiful, and sweet. My heart swelled at the thought that this composition was for me. The song then transformed, creating a lighter sound. I closed my eyes as the notes swirled around me. The tempo then sped up and the dynamics increased creating a fun sound, my smile widened. The song changed again, turning into the most beautiful melody I had ever heard. I became choked up and my eyes brimmed with tears. The last few notes flowed around me before silence followed. My eyes slowly opened, I turned towards Edward, noting that he was staring at me nervously. Was he worried that I did not like the song? A tear escaped from the corner of my eye, running down my cheek. "Edward," I whispered. "That was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. I love you so much." His face relaxed, his lips curving into that crooked smile that I loved. Edward leaned forward, pulling me towards him. His arms wrapped around me and I placed my chin on his shoulder. My gaze travelled to the glass wall, looking through into the big yard. I gasped as something caught my eye.

A dark figure was stood in the middle, walking towards the glass. "Edward!" I shouted, trying to get out of his grip. He pulled back, confused. I pointed towards the glass wall, shock rendered me unable to move from my seat. Edward turned his head towards the glass. He gasped loudly, the figure was close, but not close enough for us to make out who it was, it was wearing all black, the hood of the jacket was pulled up, causing the face to be shadowed. The figures arm lifted into the air. I gasped, a red object was in its hands. Edward pushed me backwards, I tumbled on the floor, Edward was hovering over me instantly, his body now protecting mine. The sound of shattering glass ripped through the room, pieces of glass were flying past us and I tired to pull Edward out of the way, using all my strength to push us behind the piano, but he wouldn't budge.

Edward slowly got off of me and stood, running over the now broken wall. His head snapped in all the directions of the yard, but there was no sign of the mysterious figure. I shakily stood up and made my way over to Edward. I placed my hand on my shoulder, he instantly relaxed and spun to face me. "Bella, are you okay?"

"Me?! Are you okay? Did the glass hit you?" I almost shouted at him as I scanned him for any cuts. He shook his head and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Edward! What happened?!" Carlisle asked as he burst into the room. He ran up to us, the rest of the family closely followed behind.

"I don't know. Someone was stood in the yard, I could see they were going to throw something at the window. So I pushed us both back, using the bench as a sheild. I don't know who it was, their face was hidden." Whilst Edward spoke Carlisle did a quick examine of us both, checking for cuts or to see if any glass had hit us.

"Who would do such a thing?!" Esme cried as she pulled Edward and myself into a fierce hug.

"I'll go and call Charlie." Rosalie said, disappearing back through the door.

"Mom, Dad." Alice said. We all turned to see Alice crouched by the shattered glass. She picked up a red brick and stood. "There is a note attached. For Bella." Pulling off the stuck on note, she handed it to me. My head started to spin. Realisation dawned on me, there was only one person would do this. With shaky hands I took the letter from the envelope which had my name written in big black messy letters. Unfolding the letter I began to read.

_Bella. _

_Don't get too comfortable with the Cullens. Don't get to attached to your Eddie. I promise you it won't last. _

_If I can't have you, no one can. _

I stopped breathing. "Who is it from Bella?" I looked at Edward, I could tell from his eyes that he already knew the answer but was dreading me saying it. My answer confirmed what he didn't want to here. "Jacob."

* * *

**Authors Note : Sorry about the long wait. Even though I have finished school now, my life still seems to be hectic. **

**The voting for the 'You're Never To Young To Write' competition ends soon. Thank you for anyone who has voted for me. **

**I have started a new story called 'Bring Me To Life'. This is the summary. 'Jacob hadn't told Bella he was a werewolf. He left her and now Bella realises she can not cope with this double heart break. Edward is the only one who can save her, but will he get to her in time? New Moon'. You can find the link on my profile. **

**I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who has read this story, and is still sticking with it. **


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